Then, too, his parts and ready wit
Show'd him for every business fit.
With all these talents 'twas but just
That Pug fhould hold a place of truft;
So to her favourite was affign'd
The charge of all her feather'd kind.
'Twas his to tend them eve and morn,
And portion out their daily corn.
Behold him now, with haughty stride,
Affume a ministerial pride.
The morning rofe. In hope of picking,
Swans, turkeys, peacocks, ducks, and chicken,
Fowls of all ranks furround his hut,
To worship his important ftrut.
The minister appears. The crowd,
Now here, now there, obfequious bow'd.
This prais'd his parts, and that his face,
Th' other his dignity in place.
From bill to bill the flattery ran :
He hears and bears it like a man ;
For, when we flatter Self-conceit,
We but his fentiments repeat.
If we 're too fcrupulously just,
What profit 's in a place of trust ?
The common practice of the great
Is to fecure a fnug retreat.
So Pug began to turn his brain
(Like other folks in place) on gain. An apple-woman's ftall was near,
Well ftock'd with fruits through all the year;
Here every day he cramm'd his guts,
Hence were his hoards of pears and nuts;
For 'twas agreed (in way of trade)
His payments fhould in corn be made.
The flock of grain was quickly spent,
And no account which way it went.
Then, too, the Poultry's ftarv'd condition
Caus'd fpeculations of fufpicion.
The facts were prov'd beyond difpute;
Pug must refund his hoards of fruit;
And, though then minifter in chief,
Was branded as a public thief.
Difgrac'd, defpis'd, confin'd to chains,
He nothing but his pride retains.
A Goose pass'd by; he knew the face, *Seen every levee while in place.
“What, no respect! no reverence shown!
How faucy are these creatures grown!
Not two days fince (fays he) you bow'd
The lowest of my fawning crowd.”
"Proud fool! (replies the Goofe) 'tis true 115
Thy corn a fluttering levee drew;
For that I join'd the hungry train,
And fold thee flattery for thy grain.
But then, as now, conceited Ape,
We faw thee in thy proper shape."
You tell me that you apprehend
My verse may touchy folks offend.
In prudence, too, you think my rhymes
Should never fquint at courtiers' crimes;
For though nor this nor that is meant,
Can we another's thoughts prevent?
You afk me if I ever knew
Court-chaplains thus the lawn pursue?
I meddle not with gown or lawn;
Poets, grant, to rise must fawn;
They know great ears are over-nice,
And never fhock their patron's vice.
But I this hackney-path defpife;
'Tis my ambition not to rife.
If I must prostitute the Mufe,
The bafe conditions I refufe.
I neither flatter nor defame,
Yet own I would bring guilt to fhame.
If I Corruption's hand expofe,
I make corrupted men my fɔes;
What then? I hate the paltry tribe:
Be virtue mine; be theirs the bribe.
I no man's property invade ;
Corruption 's yet no lawful trade.
Nor would it mighty ills produce,
Could I shame bribery out of use.
I know 'twould cramp most politicians,
Were they ty'd down to these conditions.
'Twould stint their power, their riches bound,
And make their parts feem lefs profound.
Were they deny'd their proper tools,
How could they lead their knaves and fools?
Were this the cafe, let's take a view
What dreadful mifchiefs would enfue.
Though it might aggrandize the state,
Could private luxury dine on plate?
Kings might indeed their friends reward,
But minifters find less regard.
Informers, fycophants, and spies,
Would not augment the year's fupplies.
Perhaps, too, take away this prop,
An annual jobb or two might drop.
Befides, if penfions were deny'd,
Could Avarice fupport its pride?
It might ev'n minifters confound,
And yet the ftate be fafe and found.
I care not though 'tis understood;
I only mean my country's good:
And (let who will my freedom blame)
I wish all courtiers did the fame.
Nay, though fome folks the lefs might get,
I wish the nation out of debt.
I put no private nian's ambition
With public good in competition :
Rather than have our laws defac'd,
I'd vote a minister disgrac❜d.
I ftrike at vice, be 't where it will;
And what if great folks take it ill?
I hope corruption, bribery, penfion,
One may with deteftation mention;
Think you the law (let who will take it)
Can fcandalum magnatum make it ?
I vent no flander, owe no grudge,
Nor of another's confcience judge:
At him or him I take no aim,
Yet dare against all vice declaim.
Shall I not cenfure breach of trust,
Because knaves know themselves unjust
That steward, whofe account is clear,
Demands his honour may appear:
His actions never fhun the light;
He is, and would be prov'd, upright.
But then you think my Fable bears
Allufion, too, to ftate-affairs.
I grant it does: and who's fo great,.. That has the privilege to cheat?
If then in any future reign
(For minifters may thirst for gain) Corrupted hands defraud the nation,
I bar no reader's application.
An Ant there was, whofe forward prate...
Control'd all matters in debate ;
Whether he knew the thing or no,,
His tongue eternally would go;
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