Past my threescore and fifteenth year,
With spirits gay and conscience clear,
Joyous and frolicksome, tho' old,

And like this day, serene but cold.

To foes well wishing, and to friends most kind,
In perfect charity with all mankind.

To the Printer.-Sir, I was born in Greece, and am lineally descended from Democritus, of laughing memory. I had laughed for many years in my own country, but the oppressions we have lately suffered there from our masters, the Turks, had scarce left me any thing to laugh at ; and I am afraid the old proverb, "as merry as a Greek," will be soon forgot. On that occasion having turned my whole substance into ready money, I was willing to indulge my humour, and settle in that country which would afford me the most food for laughter, therefore I enquired among the merchants and captains of ships in our port what placed seemed the most ridiculous; and the universal consent of all assured me, that in England I should find endless subjects for laughter. Fired with this assurance, and happy in having learned that language in my youth, for the convenience of trade, I embarked at Zante, and came to England in one of the last Turkey ships. I have been here but one month, and have laughed ever since. As I have nothing to do but divert myself, (having never been married, lest other fools should laugh at me) I take my daily ramble, and shall occa

sionally send you accounts of what adventures I meet with, that I may have the extreme pleasure of not only laughing myself, but of setting the drivellers who read this, a laughing at one another.

As soon as I landed in England, I burst out a laughing to see the search of a custom-house officer into my coffers put an end to by a piece of gold; and then I laughed at those who employed him, and did not give him a salary sufficient to make him faithful to his duty.

As I was a stranger to the customs of this place, I was willing to have a native of the country to be my constant attendant, and inform me when I might laugh outright, without danger to my bones, or fear of imprisonment, in a place, where I am told, there are a set of interpreters who explain a joke into a thing they call a libel, and might make me pay dear for my mirth. When I was thus resolved, I soon found out a sensible melancholy fellow, who had been a petty officer in the English navy, and had never laughed since he had been paid off, and left unprovided for, because he had no friends: I addressed myself to him, and told him I would maintain him genteely, if he would attach himself to me, and be my guide and adviser, and explain to me what I asked him. The poor fellow grinned his thanks: a hot supper, with a bowl of good punch, set him quite a laughing, and he has grown merrier and merrier every day.

The next morning having viewed the fortifications, and laughed at many of the works which

were of more service to those who contracted to build them, than they will ever be for defence in time of need, I set out in a post-chaise with honest Tom Topsail for the capital.

The first occurrence we met with on the road, was our meeting with four phaetons and pair, with a female in a laced riding-habit, and hat and feather, and a spruce fellow with a laced waistcoat, white silk stockings, and buckskin breeches, in each. I bowed to them, supposing them to be people of quality, when the unlucky rogue, Tom, laughed at me, and told me they were only a pack of waiters at our Covent Garden taverns, who were spending the groats and sixpences their masters customers had given them for waiting on them, and the halfcrowns they got for pimping, in regaling some ladies of the town; and were going to a neighbouring race. I joined with Tom in laughing at my own simplicity, and then we laughed at the folly of those who were so foolish as to pay these fellows for bringing what they were to pay for besides. A fine house and gardens by the road side next attracted our eyes; and when Tom told me it was built by Oliver Omnium, the stockbroker, we laughed at the bubbles with whose gold it had been erected.

Nothing more material happened till we arrived in London; and what I meet with in my first walk shall be the subject of my next letter.

DEMOCRITUS GELASUS:

On the impending Force against this Country.

What! shall our treach'rous foes now dare to say,
"England we'll ravage, and her crown we'll sway.
"This is the moment; let us all combine,

"And England, to our arms, shall soon resign.”
This is the moment, Britons best can tell,
Their arms to yield, or their vile hearts repel.
Shall it be deem'd that England can no more
Defend her island, or protect her shore?
Shall it be said that Britain fears the foe,

That dares to triumph at domestic woe?

Doubly is the cause which from thy breasts demands,
To crush their malice, and defeat their arms:
Oft has thy name struck terror to their soul,
Shall it not now their infamy controul?
Forbid it, Britons, perish first the thought,
That thinks of Englishmen as he ought.

Wherefore shou'd we doubt Britannia's glorious fame,
Are not her conqu❜ring sons alike the same?
Thy ancestors recall, whose 'lustrious names
Demand from us a tribute to their manes:
Then let us shew unsullied is the blood,

That fills the veins, which from their loins we robb'd.
Worthy their race, let none disclaim our birth,
And call us bastards of some foreign growth.
Let us for ever the dear pledge maintain,
And hold it sacred as a gift divine.

Britons attend; the crisis now is come,
To make us rise, or sink into disdain:
Perfidious France has dar'd to rob thy crown;
Resent the insult, and the blow strike home.
Ambitious Spain must feel again our weight,
Learn how to prize our friendship from our hate.
No moment's to be lost, the trumpet sounds;
Re-echoes thro' the air Britannias wounds:

"Tis Brunswick calls to arms, revenge, revenge,
Is there a Briton wou'd his country change?
Is there a Briton wou'd his name disown?
And let stoop Brunswick basely to Bourbon?
Forbid it, Heaven, the foul thought disclaim,
Britain shall again add lustre to her name;
Again behold resplendent shine her arms,
Nor know no danger from dread wars alarms,
George shall redeem his fav'rite pride when crown'd,
A Briton born, by British hearts enthron'd.

-May th' historic page

Still mark this æra down from age to age:
Tell to the world, learn nations yet to come,
How, with what fortitude, Britain stood alone.
How, when oppress'd by offsprings of her care,
Taught independence by false France to rear,
Yet with undaunted valour she sustain'd
The force united, which they both obtain❜d.

Thus may he write, whose pen to history draws,
To trace from earliest time this country's wars:
So may he find the British sceptre sway'd,
The awe of Europe, but of France the dread.

Come then, brave Britons, seek thy just revenge,
Make th' insidious slaves for thy mercy cringe,
Thy country need not fear all Europe's sons,
While your brave souls, with ardour for her burns,
Shew her thy prowess, dignify her name;
Defend her cause in honour of her King.
This is the moment left thee to employ,
May you prove it ominous to future joy;
Excite our breasts for glory to obtain,

That nought may tarnish this, our Monarch's reign.

R I**TI.