Midwife. I don't fear, my Lord, when you have renewed the clyfter, but you will favour us with a hearty poop, it will much relieve you. Hoft. Your brethren, the new philofophers of this enlightened age and northern hemisphere, understanding that your lordship's life is in jeopardy, from a group of voracious, greedy, and ravenous animals, who have huddled themfelves clandeftinely with fecret craftiness into your lordship's belly, being farthered by information that you were feated on the fummit of their new philofophy of this our enlightened, age and northern hemifphere, dictating and difplaying furprifing feats of chivalry, have deputed this good woman, Mother Midnight-cap, to your delivery, craving for the honour and love you diftinguish yourself in greatness of heroism and generalfhip in your new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere, that you will vouchsafe the acceptance of a draught to alleviate and fet free your abdominous from the danger that threatens your lordship.

Midwife. My lord, it is a perfect nofegay; I intreat your lordship's condefcenfion; it will bequeath great harmony to the parts; pray do it, I befeech your lordship.

Luther. Nincompoop, you are befeeching to make a meal, but in what manner am I to receive it? I am as fharp fet as you would wish, if you would make ready.

Hoft. All is ready prepared, nothing is deficient, if your lordship will put yourself in a proper posture.

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Midwife.

Midwife. Pray, your lordship, the matter is just the thing, neither hot nor cold, a proper

warmth.

Luther. But then, and fuppofe, and the like of that, do you mungie, as the faying is, will you have me eat as a pig, with what am I to cut up the haggis? Jackanapes, why don't you lay the cloth and put the bowl, with plates, knife, fork and bread, as is ufual? You know I am particularly fond of a Scotch haggis.

Hoft. My lord, you are under a mistake; you Aand not in need of either plate, knife, fork or bread. A napkin under your chin, I grant, may be proper, to prevent drivelling on the bed.

Midwife. I fhall be careful to catch the drivel, my lord, fo that your bed will receive none of its contents.

Luther. Are you mad or drunk, Nincomnoddy? how dare you bring hither an old BedJamite to produce from the royal philofophers of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere one of the most delicious haggefes my eyes, ever beheld, and yet will not prepare the table for my meal, as usual. I have a great mind, Sirrah, but am a priest, and must not give fcandal. My zeal is unfurmountable.

Hoft. My lord, you mistake; the compofition is not a hagges; it is a clyfter, to be administered, as the faying is, or the like of that.

Midwife. My lord, there is no longer time to parley; now or never, as the old women say.

Luther: Ninny-hammer, you have thrown the lawyer into this old woman, to evade our agreement, according to your folemn promise,

To país receipts and bear my expences and perfon, living or dead, until I arrive fafe in good Old England, in lieu of which you fofter an old witch, with gim-cum-crack, that cannot be banquetted upon, tantalizing without fruit. I fhall take no ftep until the agreement is figned, the quicker the better; for I will not promife that I fhall not lofe my wind, and then you look to it. See what a navel you have made me with your cat's head.

Hoft. My Lord Bishop, I beg you will prop and poize yourself in a proper attitude on your quadrupedes, fo that Mother Midnight, I beg ten thousand pardons, Mrs. Mid-cap, Nightcap; what numberless mistakes man is fubject to; among the number I stand foremost. Madam, lay the cloth fecure.

Midwife. All things are now ready for admipiltration. Pray, my lord, endeavour to rouze yourself, that you may be placed in a favourable and polite state, that

The poftern exhibit its native dress,
And be delivered from fuch a peft.

Hoft. All things in our concerns fhall be fettled by the lawyer as foon as the operation or onfet is over and a calm enfue.

Luther. Bear teftimony, Mother Midnight, or Night-cap, that the Hoft and I now pass receipts, in full, from the creation, and that he will discharge your bill, and all and every bill, note, account, and expence, already, or may hereafter be incurred for any matter, caufe, or thing

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thing whatfoever and wherefoever, local or ge neral, from the commencemeut of my travels, breaking ground from England, until my fafe arrival, living or dead, to my native and wellbeloved country; and according to these prefents we, Hoft and Luther do interchangeably and with mutual and good fellowship of our and each of our free, cordial, and voluntary will, in this present year 785. So be it, or the like of that. Now do your will, when the Hoft has agreed.

Midwife. I know not your family connection; but, to all appearance, the poor man finds it hard to fcuffle through life, with two naked hands, a wife, and fix children. I will only put this fimple queftion. Is it confcientious, that a poor man that can fearce keep foul and body together, fhould bear the heavy charges of a travelling Lord, and a Bishop forfooth? Aye, marry, fo we will, and a thankey, ha, ha, ha.

Hoft. My account against is here stated, with my receipt in full, provided you receive the clyfter, and when delivered, quit my house; either accept or reject.

Luther. And pay my paffage and expences to England.

Midwife. I fhall fplit my old fides, laughing at the miserly poverty of the old Bishop, who fhould fix his thoughts on his grave, and not in other mens pockets. For fhame; fie upon it, ha, ha, ha.

Luther. But then, and suppose, and the like of that, as the faying is, do you mungey, and

as

as I was going to fay, Nincompoop, ninnyhammer, fiddle-dee, dee.

Hoft. Let it be fo; I will bear you harmless to England, provided you fail in the next packet,

Midwife. My patience is worn out at fo much mifery under a Bifhop's garb. I pity the wretch that is under your roof, or subject to your mean, low, niggardly, covetous, and fordid will; however, I will act the chriftian part, turn up topfey-turvy, bottom up; you are big enough to run away with the gates of the city, as Sampfon. Old Hoge is not fo unwieldy but he can, upon an emergency, reft upon all-fours. Bring hither, Mr. Hoft, the bag-pipe and bowl, and, if you please, to lend a hand; bring the receiver near. I fuppofe a large eruption, according to appearances, will burft forth; give me that fafeguard, for fear a mif-hap, as I put on my beft bib and tucker, and Sunday gown to appear in the presence of his lordship. Remove shirt, that mafter may difplay the moft tremendous face; the delivery is forward, quick, put the cloth close under its chin.

Hoft. Bod-dy-kins, one foot of the raven, or Mufcovy drake, is out; a happy omen, harbinger of a plentiful and rich harvest.

Midwife. Your furmife is erroneous; the matter, whatever it may be, is a fixture, reprefenting five fhanks or fingers, (I suppose the mother longed for fome favourite or fweetheart's hand) that is most likely.

Luther. They are plefant to the feel. I often fpend an idle hour in play with them, it causes a titilation which is pleafing.

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Midwife.