1 dive, pierce, bring into action, feaft on, glut, inebriate, drenched in, and ducked with a plunge of delights into the vitals and quintes fence of fimple, pure Matter. To conclude, be it known to your invincible and unconquerable greatness, Top-knot, and Crown on the Head of the mighty Patriarch our grand progenitor, Voltaire, who, truckling under our ftupendous and Triumpant Heroifm, acknowledge in filence himfelf vanquished; that on the memorable night of your parting with your wind, in council affembled, we judged it proper at the dead of night, whilft nature was in profound reft, to fally forth in formal proceffion, to the lodgings of his Eminence, Cardinal Prieft of the Proteftant Republic or Commonwealth, Lord Archbishop of Canterbury, Primate of all England, with its appendages, &c. &c. &c. praying his parental acquiefcence to our fuit, and lenient acceptance of our tender, which was to become one common father to both focieties, that is, the old proteftant Republic, and our new Reformation, being nothing, nothing more than a new reform of the old reformation; they being perfectly fimilar, in perfuafion and confraternity, conformable to the paffions, malapert carriage, pomp, invidious, irony, fneering, and fnarling against our common enemy, the Roman Pontiff, with his gospel adherents, to all which his eminence joyfully granted his affent. The contrived plot for converting or rather convincing the good bishop of the utility, in order to remove various errors, enmities, back-bitings, felf-fears, 1 bitings bitings of confcience, fhamefacédness, denials, grievings, mortifications, fpiritual doubts, and infinite other strange fangled dreffes, which remain unpurged from the old reformation, to the annoyance of the children, fair-fex and ignorant, are the productions of your fuperior brain, our darling God, who bestows wisdom, to contrive, obtain, and plump head-long, neck and fhoulders, topfey-turvy, into the gulph and garden of blifs. O the full-fraught happinefs and glut of delights will the new reform in our protestant ancestors bring forth, compared to a woman after a tedious nine months breeding, fickness, qualms, purgings, pukings, but at the grand hour of delivery or transfer, when through anguish and pain every hope disappears and vanishes; behold ye, a man child, heir, comfort, and hope of the family; forrow and difinay ceafe, the caufe removed, joy and mirth take place, a fimper difplays titilation on every member, and a general fhout of applaufe crowns the banquet. Even fo with us, our proteftant mother being in a fickly ftate from her commencement with popifh qualms, remorfe and afraid of gratifying different defires, for the dread of hell fire and many other popish contrivances which infected her, remained in a pregnant and fickly ftate, feftering and multiplying, as they drew near the time of delivery, by a thousand horrors, fet forth by as many arch knaves, who, to raise their own reputation and accumulate a long purse, each of them droll wags, fet up new reforms and cloathed the old matron in a Merry-Andrew Coat, in this hu miliating R 4 miliating and make-game condition, laughed at and derided by her forward children, as a felf-witted old woman, who cannot bear reproach, fell into a megrim or diforder of the brain, which brought on a melancholy ftupor. In this irrecoverable and haplefs ftate was our antiquated mother, when on a fudden, behold ye, beamed forth and difplayed its radiant and glittering rays, the great Luminary, our new philosophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere, which difperfed the remaining fragments of fpiritual fears, invigorated the old matron, and introduced to practice many pleafant novelties, branded heretofore with the odious and deteftable terms of obfcene, disgusting, wicked, filthy, and unfavoury, which, being now tolerated, are found defirable, relishing, favoury and high-flavoured; all which philofophical resolutions, experimentally diffected and anatomised, are pronounced wholefome, defireable, and delicious, proper, and worthy, the smile, new countenance and favour of the gay and fashionable circles, and applied as an antidote against remorfe, fhame, fhynefs, or other spirituai attachments. Our task is endlefs; to attempt is folly; let thus far fuffice, noble champion, deign us, we pray, a smile; vouchsafe us to escort you in proceffion at the midnight watch, which nature charms the watchful eye with its ftupendous wisdom, order, and immenfity, in he ftary regions, as a well-generalized army compact, regulated and moving in their several orbits without confufion, let, or retarding each other; and, as a clock or monitor, monitor, mark out time and aprize man, as a well-known cock, the morning watch and time of action. Great Luther, high and mighty Lord, centre and grand Link of the old and new Reformations, and whereas Aaron, highprieft of the Jews, wore an Ephod, composed of fore and back parts, coupled on the fhoulders with a circular hole in the centre, through which was placed and appeared his head. In like manner the two reforms, the old or backfide, and new or fore fide, coupled by brotherly love, with our joint head or common father, placed in the intermediate fpace or centre, comprize the alliance and form one fociety, which will be impregnable against Pope, Turk and every other oppofer of what kind or fort foever. This fimilar complexion engages and demands our first and great Cardinal's Pontifical robes (he being Head, Pope, or High-prieft of the two Reformations) be according to the pattern handed down from Aaron, all which will be finished and our Holy Father habited this night, as ordered, at our common expence, not exceeding a mall ftipend. The patterns are as follows. Exod. 28th chapter. An Ephod of gold, blue, purple, fcarlet, with fine twine linen, cunningly wrought, two fhoulder-pieces, joined at the two edges, a curious girdle of the Ephod, of like workmanship, two onyx-ftones, on which were engraved the twelve tribes, fix on each. In lieu of the twelve tribes fhall be engraved on the left shoulder, Old Reformation, and upon the right, new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemisphere, our Holy Holy Father's Head iffuing out of the centric cavern, adorned, bedecked, bedafhed, and embellished with fubftantial requifites, a true copy of Adonis, offspring of Sinyras and Myrrha, remarkably beautiful, and extremely beloved by Venus and Proferpine. A curious mitred cap, engraved on the front, imitating Aaron's, but with this difference, that on Aaron's was engraved Holinefs to the Lord our holy fathers fhall be, Holinefs to our Brains. This, well wrote, will difplay great magnificence, and draw great respect to our new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere. A breaft-plate alfo, copying Aaron's, but with this difference, that on Aaron bore the names of the twelve tribes of Ifrael upon his heart. Our Holy Father will, on his heart, bear the name, of our incorporated focieties, as aforefaid, on the two onyx-ftones, placed on his fhoulders, that is, the old Proteftant Reformation and the new philofophical reform. Our Holy Father will be fanctified, and being prodigious grofs, will difplay great Majefty enthroned, dreffed in his robes, ornamented and decorated in all, and every part, and enriched with a border of bells and pomegranates round about, fo that we can never fufficiently admire the ftrangeness and grandeurs of the new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemisphere. We have, in imitation of Aaron's fons, ordered, with this difference, twelve fuits, inftead of three, for the greater glory, a common expreffion of old Ignatius of Loyola; for, as he would have it, of God, but Us, |