1 pearance, but without coft; this last being and ever has been an invariable rule throughout life in my conduct, and I fhould confider it an unpardonable breach to part with money for any matter, caufe, or thing whatsoever; it is an inheritance from my forefathers; we place our great relation, as I have fometimes heretofore mentioned, Doctor Tillotson, as a beacon, from whom we are fworn never to retract. Every handicraft fhall think himself much noticed and well contented. All things fhall be done with exactness and order, beautified, embellished, and adorned with trophies of knight-errantry and feats of chivalry, of this our new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere. The prime or impure excrefcence, Cancerated Spider Crab fhall difplay its brilliancy, richness and celeftial glory painted in ftrong colours, fay, the outer part or border of the face yellow, in imitation of an immenfe fun-flower, glittering of golden rays, the crab red, with its mouth or centre of union black, which will expofe each part fully and to advantage, particularly to the ladies and gentlemen that cannot, through the great concourfe of people, get near; but by glaffes and addition of paint aforefaid, feaft and banquet on this delicious object of enchanting delights; during the hour of audience this great luminary fhall with gradual pace be turned round, to grant both kids and pigs, my dearly beloved the heart-felt wifh of their fouls. We next arrive to the most substantial and essential point, which is the philofopher's stone, strong guards of the military to prevent interlopers, tickets half a guinea, to admit one perfon; duty on glassThops, five fhillings each spying-glafs: the first will nett, by fuppofition, one thousand guineas each day; the fecond, fay two hundred and fifty; fo that the whole, yearly, will make a pretty faving, &c. ha, ha, ha. That the whole be conducted with princely magnificence and pompofity, which grandeurs will grapple, and, as bird-lime do flies, catch the mind, or fpider, emblem of wisdom, the fame infect, in her curious trammel, beat down and put to dismay all spiritual gainfayers, and bring the whole world under the banner of our great and victorious triumph, when my decrees fhall blaze abroad and scatter, mift, doubts, megrims and fears, inftal the day-ftar (Cancerated Spider Crab) of this our new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere, and feat it on the throne of Majefty. So be it, or the like of that. That we may give you a feint glimpfe, a grand difplay of various inftruments, military, and all kinds of mufic, both vocal and inftrumental, founds fhall rend the vaft regions above, and fet all nature aghaft; the human heart will drop like wax placed before a furnace, from whence, as the terrible vifages of proud Etna and Vefuvius, in their moft violent, frightful, gnashing, freaks of vengeance, vomit and fpout rivers of fire, whofe vivid and limpid torrents, rolling in rapid ftreams, burn, parch, dry, fcorch and wither away every infectious contagion or diaboli cal mifchiefs that have hitherto parted my pretty pro Q 2 1 proteftant and philofophical children, that my heart is in labour with, until I can, as the faying is, bring forth. A happy day, dear children, for you, my new darlings, for this our new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemisphere. The cock, harbinger of our type, the day-ftar, fummon us to end this happy prefage of our future glory; depart in peace. Fare ye well. Adieu. End of the Eleventh Conference. TWELFTH TWELFTH CONFERENCE. Scene changes. Mofes and Club at the door of the Church Vault. Mofes. Gith Mr. Sexton, follow you. ENTLEMEN, here is the key, we, Sexton. This is the corpfe interred last night, and there lies his brother. Sir, will you be pleased to rife? I fear fome mif-hap, he seems not to breathe; he is cold; I doubt he is dead. Club. God forbid, as cold as clay his lifeless corpfe; miferable and fleeting are the pursuits of man, last night full of vigour, ftrength and heroic courage, in which he braved the tyrant death, and fell a victim to the cause of virtue. O Brutus, how juft was your complaint? O virtue, virtue, I have ever worshipped you as a deity, but now find you a fhadow. Similar, dear brother, is your fate to that noble Roman, great Cato, hardy in ftern virtue, fell in her caufe, by his own hand; and, where should we end, the task is endless, even amongst the dark ages of earth who faw thus, that it should be fo, and which, though great, is not to be brought into contact with the great and mighty men, heroes of this our new p.. ofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemisphere. Mofes. You err, building your hypothefis upon erroneous principles, as the heathens of old, fophiftry, to make one thing appear for another, in order to obtain the end you wish, which, in general, is nothing more than prefent ૦૩ en enjoyment, to me feems the characteristic or quality of your new philofophy of this your enlightened age and northern hemisphere. Club. Alas, a-well-a-day, he is dead; the end of man is truly defpicable, forrow has filled our hearts, our philofophy might truly lament and howl, crying aloud, alas! our brother is no more. Mofes. Order him to be taken away into his lodging, put into bed between warm blankets; call in the affiftance of the faculty; how can we tell but God may be merciful to his foul and restore him? Sexton. What you fay, Rabbi, is truly juft; I am a witness, in the course of thirty years, of feveral to appearance dead, that the tender mercy of Almighty God has restored. Club. It is to no effect to pretend to revive the dead; there is no God; fo that you place your hope in what is not; bury the corpfe, and be at no further trouble, as it will be attended with expence, and might incur the new philo fophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere. Do the matter with all privacy, and be content. Mofes. My friend, do as I fay, here is my purfe, fee nothing be wanting, I am anfwerable, and will, from time to time, affift at his lodging. Sexton. All fhall be faithfully complied with, according to your benevolent heart; you are. truly the common father of us all, God will bless you. Club |