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So men find themselves occupying a certain rank in the world, at the time they begin to think for themselves. They presume upon what they have, be it never so little. This lays them open to casualty, and they rise or fall, as the chance may be. If loss has happened, they still have something. Like the spendthrift, they look at the remaining coin, and promise themselves one pleasure more. Thinking thus, what sentiment can the bad excite, but pity? and how can we look upon the good, but as fortunate? It may be said, in answer to this, that men are the weavers of their own fortunes that every one has the opportunity to turn circumstances to his own benefit. Yes! we say, but the disposition to make this effort. moral force necessary to the exertion is a matter of education of early, infant education; and who will deny that this is in the hands of others?

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I have said that I have determined to write my life in a plain, unvarnished history. I shall tell nothing but what I know to have taken place. I am so obscure, that the author can never be known. I delight in the thought that I shall appear in a mask before the world. I can send abroad the true and genuine feelings of the human heart. There is no fiction here, though I wear the garb of a tale. Those who read me, will talk about my being true to nature, little thinking, perchance, that they are criticizing nature herself.

I shall do no injustice to friends, for they are mostly dead. Those who survive, will hardly recognise themselves in the true picture I shall give of them, under assumed names; for who knows himself, save the unhappy? I pride myself upon an original plan of doing good. Who dare lay bare his heart to the inspection of his fellow men? It may be that I shall keep back a part of the price I have paid for my experience; though I begin in the candid feeling of saying all. Why should men be afraid to confess their weaknesses, when all the world knows they possess them? My faults are of a common order, and may assist many in the work of self-knowledge. The youth in our cities see the profligate and licentious, the idle and the luxurious, in the height of their course. In public, they are all gay and careless, and seem, to the young mind eager for a knowledge of life, to be the happiest of the happy. They know little of the certain and inevitable descent of such painted rottenness. They do not follow them to their chambers of despair; they do not accompany them to linger out their lives of wretchedness and want in foreign lands; they do not feel the pangs of remorse that wring their bosoms, when they revert back in memory to the pure years of their childhood, and rear in imagination - perhaps in the cells of a prison the mother whose arms cradled their infancy, and compare what they are with what they might have been; they do not see all this and more; but like the foolish insects, that flit by my nightlamp, they rush to death, because it looks bright to the eye. My story will unfold the consequences of a life of pleasure.

While many men of the present day write false journeyings, imaginary love scenes, speculating robberies, and amusing murders, to make money, and give the young false views of life, I write these plain and true events, which may take place in the life of any Ameriwhich no one ever thinks of telling, and which may be trite

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in themselves, taken singly, but when viewed as a whole, will evince the importance of small steps in a long journey, and give a better insight into the errors of early education, than all the very natural rhodomontade about wine, women, and robbers, ever written.

But I trust my story will not be devoid of interest. For I have travelled much in my own country. I have seen many sects of people. I have been on familiar terms with the extremes of society. My mother gave me a kind heart, and a social disposition was the result of a nervous temperament; for so fond of excitement was I, that, rather than be alone, I would mix with any of the species. But all this will grow out of my history, and without farther prelude, I hasten to enter upon it.

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I was born of respectable and wealthy parents, in the city of that is to say, my father was wealthy, for no one thinks of attaching any wealth to the mother, in this country, unless she has inherited it. The father makes the money; he holds the purse-strings; he dispenses the daily dole; he goes to market, followed by his servant, with a large basket; and not a copper is expended in the family, without his knowledge. Ten to one but he buys all his wife's dresses, and shoes, and calls them presents. The father is the factotum of his family in America, as he should be every where. The mother bears and nurses the children, and goes to meeting with him on Sundays; and he calls her dear,' by way of title. The reader must date my birth some forty years back, for this puritanical vestige is fast fading away, and the ladies are oftener the governors than their husbands. Fashionable life obtains in our cities; ladies make morning calls in coaches of their own; put the children under the care of nurses; have servants to go to market; keep tradesmen's bills; give balls and parties without consulting their husbands; regulate the education of the children, and, in short, do every thing of a domestic nature; while the husband appears on 'Change, takes care of his business, and attends to his own clubs, and, if he can, pays his bills.

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We Americans were a very simple people when I was a boy. Extravagance was a rare thing. Propriety was more thought of than fashion - eloquence, than style. Still, in New-England, there exists a trace of the puritans - who were despots in their families though so faint is it, that in another generation it will entirely have vanished. Wealth, luxury, love of the world and its honors for which passions is now afforded by our physical and political advancement - have shut out the gloominess and fanaticism of our fathers, who copied after Bible characters, and esteemed themselves upon an equality with the holy men of old. Their self-consequence was much helped along by their secluded situation, and their want of general knowledge. The early puritans had none to compare themselves with, and, after the decease of the original landers at Plymouth, their descendants knew not but they were the greatest men in the world; surely they had heavy responsibilities, and we can hardly regret their delusion, since it begat an energy which supported us through a toilsome revolution. This character has been gradually falling away, growing more and more faint in each succeeding generation, until now, when it is hardly discernible.

My father, then, was a respectable merchant, worth a great deal of money. He lived in a large and handsomely-furnished house, kept a carriage, and one man-servant for every thing, and three or four maid-servants mostly for nothing. He was called a rich man, and treated as rich men always are; bowed to, very low, by shopkeepers and mechanics, and all those who hoped for his custom. He was greeted in the street by other rich men like himself, with great respect, who wished to set an example to the lookers-on how rich men should be treated. The smile and bow of all those who wished for his dinners, and wine, and parties, were extremely insinuating and complaisant. But, reader, he had his abasement. The million man and the half million man looked down upon him. They bowed, but the million man and the half million man bowed the most lordly. You might have seen the 'mens conscia auri' in their eyes, as they passed by my father. The skirts of their coats were wider, the brim of their hats a little broader, and their abdomens rather more rotund, than my father's; for I have remarked, that rich men, in America, when they get a little old, always wear coats and hats a little broader than the common run of men.

I hope the reader has got by this time some idea of what my father was for his reputation and standing in the world, had an important influence upon my life.

CHAPTER II.

My earliest recollection is, of being tied up in a chair, to obviate the trouble of holding me, and to keep me from falling. Even now, I feel the agony of the situation and the restraint. I could not talk, and utter my pain, and explain the reason; but I could cry, and this I was permitted to do to any extent, under the idea that it would strengthen my lungs.

I was born a nervous child—that is, my physical susceptibilities were always acute, even in infancy. My mother was of delicate frame, and possessed of the nicest organs. She sang to perfection the most difficult pieces of music, without knowing any thing of the science. She is said to have been highly accomplished by nature. She gained by ready intuition, what others acquire by labor and practice. I believe I received my nature from her. In a woman, it was an excellence, in the eyes of her acquaintance, though it could not have made her happy. To me it was a curse. I recollect, too, that I was devotedly attached to my mother, and very much afraid of my father, excepting when, after dinner, I was brought into the room when we had company, and coaxed to sing a little song, and toss off a glass of wine, like a man. I have no other infantile remembrances.

When about eight years of age- and from this time I recollect distinctly every passage in my life-I was sent to dancing-school, and being a little, short, squat personage, with a good ear for music, and some agility, I was quite an object of curiosity and wonder. This gratified me: the feeling was encouraged by my relations; and the love of praise became a passion I have never outgrown.

At this period, too, I contracted a warm friendship with a cousin about my own age, because it was a settled matter between our parents that we must be very fond of each other. We were always together. People called us the little friends,' and we thought it mighty pretty. We were tenants in common of a little patch of ground, and joint owners of a rocking-horse. Years of absence soon broke up this intimacy, without any pain to either of us, I presume: but I was always taught to consider cousin James as my best friend, though I had not seen him for years. I knew and prized him, after this, on his own account; but I doubt whether I should ever have sought his acquaintance, had it not been for some family flattery, which was supposed to answer some end in our parents.

Until I was ten years of age, I was very like other children, I suppose. I was sent to school to an old school-mistress, who used to toast cheese for herself in school-time, and eat it with great relish. I have always loved toasted cheese, since I first saw her place the swollen mass upon some gingerbread which she had taken away from a little boy, for eating in the school hours, and eat it herself. This seemed rather hard justice to all of us, but she was too ignorant to suppose that children had any ideas before they had learned to read.

This love of toasted cheese nearly cost me my life. Going home with the memory of the rich repast in my mind, and the water in my mouth, I cut by stealth a large slice from the cheese-tray, and began to cook it; when, in my eagerness, my clothes caught fire, my hair was burned off, and I was scorched from top to toe. I was saved by being wrapped in a table-cloth. I suffered excruciating pain for weeks; but still the first impression of toasted cheese remains. It is my passion of eatables, and ever will remain so.

The location of my father's house was an unlucky circumstance in my education. A long alley led to the back of it, and visitors frequently passed up this alley, where I was accustomed to play. Recognising me as the son of a rich man, they would stop, pat me on the head, praise my eyes and lips, and some of the ladies gave me kisses. I told my mother this. She was delighted. I was told to keep myself clean and nice, for fear some of the ladies might see me; and by and by I went to the alley, not to play, but to be admired and caressed by the dear visiting friends of my mother.

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The love of praise was now fixed for life. I became proud and vain of my person, and cried if my clothes were soiled had my hands and face washed twenty times a day, and my hair combed twice as often went to the glass at every opportunity — walked with the air of a little gentleman cut the acquaintance of all dirty little boys, and attended my mother whenever she went to see ladies. I thought myself the most observed person in the world, and too much of a gentleman to do any thing. Children are oftener praised by their parents for keeping their clothes clean and whole, than for any thing else. It saves a great deal of trouble and expense to these same parents, and they see nothing in it beyond a convenience for the present moment.

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Being the eldest son, and father my receive the best advantages of education.

I was destined to I was sent to the most

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expensive school in the neighborhood of the city; for it was the fashion with rich people to send their sons to boarding-schools, at the time I write of. My father's acquaintances mostly rich men and merchants very good men, but no very good judges of what their children needed- were much pleased with the location of Sidney School. Mr. Surface was a gentleman. He had educated the children of several rich men, after his way. He got them into college, some how or other, but to my certain knowledge, not by knowing any thing of Latin or Greek. Beside, he charged a high price, and that was every thing in his favor. It is of some consequence that gentlemen may be able to say on 'Change, what vast sums they are expending in the education of their children.

Let it not be supposed that I would cast any ridicule upon my father. He was an American merchant, and as good a man as ever lived. He was a kind father, or he meant to be so. He would have laid down his life for his children, had it been necessary; but he partook of the error of the times. He did as thousands do, and have done, and will do-looked at the outside at appearances. He was guided by 'the credit of the thing.' It was enough for him to know, that the reputation of this school was good. He thought he had done his duty. Beside, he had his mercantile reputation to look after. His children!- he thought they would grow up good, of course - for he was paying hundreds of dollars for them yearly.

I come to the task of describing this school, with my sleeves rolled up to the elbow. I wish to do the subject justice. If we have good scholars now in our colleges, it is because the system of early instruction has been changed, and is daily and hourly undergoing improvements. As knowledge of mind advances, education will advance. It was once thought that children were born to be good or bad by nature; but to talk of a boy's natural talents meaning any thing more than as far as physical organization is concerned, would at this day be considered nonsense. We have at last found out that education does every thing, and where no natural impediments are in the way such as defects in the body a boy, with proper training, may be made almost any thing his parents may wish him to be.

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The fault of bad scholarship, and want of elevated taste, lies in the primary school, and in proper attention, at home, to the infant years of our children. A child may receive an impression to-day, which shall have an effect ten years hence. The distance of the effect blinds us to the cause. Teach a child in a slovenly manner- give him half-way explanations — be irregular in your hours, and careless of his improvment - and he will be a superficial scholar; and if he have fine sensibilities, and a warm fancy, he will be a comet-like character erratic ― unsteady uncertain. His friends may call him a genius, and the ladies an enthusiast; that is, a mind without balance, feeling without judgment, taste without discrimination, thoughts without method, and impulses, dependent more upon the animal than the moral nature. He will be like a ship without a helm - full of force, but without direction. The fault is in the primary school, not in the college. I believe my character for usefulness was fixed at Mr. Surface's school, and I wish to lay the blame on him, and the system he practised.

VOL. IX.

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