CHAPTER IX. RHODA IN TROUBLE. ESSONS were begun again on the following day, and Millicent petitioned, of her own accord, to be allowed to join the schoolroom party at once, instead of waiting until the end of the week, as Mrs. Russell had proposed. Herbert was glad she had so chosen, as he was thus able to form some idea, before leaving Samborough, as to how she would get on with Miss Carey and her French master. Neither of them had a fault to find with her she was somewhat backward, but both intelligent and industrious; and instead of her lessons being any longer a perpetual misery to her, they appeared everything that was pleasant. In short, Millicent seemed to have turned over a new leaf, and when the time arrived for his return home, Mr. Grant felt he could leave the bright happy little girl with feelings of the greatest comfort. Nevertheless it cost her a great many tears to part with the brother she loved so dearly. Still, when he asked if she was quite content to remain at Samborough, she answered unhesitatingly, 'Oh yes, quite; she was very happy indeed, and didn't want to go away; only she wished he could stay too.' Herbert kissed away her tears, telling her that Christmas would soon come, when she would see him again, and that, meanwhile, he should expect a great many letters, which he promised faithfully to answer; and so he left her in tears and in smiles, like an April day of the olden times. It was Ethel's afternoon for riding; but she begged her father to take out Milly instead, as she thought it would prevent her fretting about her brother's departure. Milly was charmed at the idea; but scarcely liked taking the pony away from Ethel, who however seemed, and really was, perfectly pleased to give up her ride to her cousin. 'Oh, how I wish I wasn't so stupid!' said Hilda, with a deep sigh, that same afternoon to Miss Carey, with whom she was sitting, out of school hours, preparing a German exercise for her master. 'I didn't know you were stupid,' said her governess, smiling. 'I know you are very industrious.' 'I must be stupid, or everything wouldn't be so much more difficult to me than to the others. Why, I don't believe Rhoda would give you as much trouble as I am now doing, Miss Carey; she would understand these rules twice as quickly.' Nonsense,' answered Miss Carey; 'you will understand them perfectly in a little while. Every one isn't blessed with the same quickness of apprehension, and you may have less than your sisters; but when you do learn a thing, it is in a thorough manner, and you don't forget easily.' 'No; but I know so little compared to Olive; and thenthen-I 'Never mind the German this afternoon, dear,' said Miss Carey, putting the books aside; 'I don't think you are quite in the mood for it. Tell me, instead, what you are troubling your little head about, will you?' Hilda's eyes filled with tears. 'I'm afraid you'll think me very silly and envious; but I'm not that really, only I can't help wishing I could see things quickly, like Olive, and always think of exactly the right thing, like Ethel. Yesterday morning, as I lay in bed, I was wondering what I could do to give Milly a little pleasure, because I thought she would be fretting at Mr. Grant leaving her next day; and although I would have given up my ride to her directly, I never thought of that. Now Ethel wanted to give her pleasure to-day, and she thought of the right thing at once; and you saw how delighted Milly was, and how kind she thought it of Ethel.' 'I quite understand your feelings, darling,' said Miss Carey; but you mustn't let them get morbid, as they will, if you brood over them, and are always fancying you are not this, that, or the other. You have lived long enough to know that God hasn't made us all alike, and that although we should be always striving to be better than we are, still we must, in some things, be content to remain as He has made us. Many people neglect what they have, in striving after what they have not, than which there can be no greater mistake. If you are not as clever as Olive in one way, or as clear-sighted as Ethel in another, you mustn't make yourself miserable about it. You may have other gifts they don't possess; but even if not, you must be content that it should be so.' 'Yes; of course I don't mind their being nicer than I am; but it is so hard always to fail in everything: whatever I do it's the same thing. I'm always behind the others, not only in lessons, but in play as well. I can't ride, or work, or play croquet, or do anything well. Even Bully is against me; he is already tamer with Milly than he ever was with me; and if she goes on teaching him, I really think he will soon learn to pipe, and he never would have done it for me!' Miss Carey could scarcely help smiling at Hilda's tone of genuine distress at the ungrateful conduct of her bullfinch, as she replied, 'Well, my dear little girl, I can't help thinking you are making mountains out of mole-hills. Even suppose everything you say is granted, it only comes to this, that your sisters are cleverer than you. Well, never mind if they are, you are not loved the less; and it is far better for you than being much cleverer than any one else, and getting puffed up and conceited without any real reason for being so. You are very young as yet, remember, and as great results have been attained by perseverance as by natural genius, so don't be discouraged, only be patient, and avoid morbid thoughts; try and think of yourself as little as possible. Come, now, I've thought of something you can do better than the others.' 'Have you? What can it be?' asked Hilda. 'Why, gardening to be sure. Who has the gayest and neatest garden at Elworthy? and who brings us in the first dish of mustard and cress for tea? Isn't it always Hilda? Do you remember when Rhoda was recovering from the measles, how delighted she used to be with the nosegays from your garden? They were always the nicest, she said.' Hilda brightened up. 'Yes, I had forgotten that; but then there is no skill in gardening, only trouble.' 'Oh! I beg your pardon. There is a great deal of skill required some people sow seeds that never come up, and their plants die from no apparent cause or reason, but, in reality, from want of skill. I know, when I was a child, I never could get my garden into nice order, and yet I took a good deal of trouble with it.' In this way Miss Carey brought Hilda back to her usual serenity, and before rejoining her sisters she was quite herself again. In the course of the evening Miss Carey read the following little poem to her, and Hilda was so pleased with it that she asked if she might copy it out, and learn it by heart : Disappointment.1 I. All round the rolling world, both night and day, II. All round the rolling world, both night and day, III. Guessing some portion of His great design, IV. Yet to the faithful there is no such thing A gentle pang, as peacefully they say, 'His purpose stands, tho' mine has passed away.' V. All is fulfilling, all is working still, To teach thee flexibility of will. 1 C. NOEL. |