From the ranks, one day, cried PRIVATE JAMES, "OH! MAJOR-GENERAL JOHN, I've doubts of our respective names, My mournful mind upon. "A glimmering thought occurs to me, (It's source I can't unearth) But I've a kind of a notion we Were cruelly changed at birth. "I've a strange idea that each other's names We've each of us here got on. Such things have been," said PRIVATE JAMES. "They have!" sneered GENERAL JOHN. "My GENERAL JOHN, I swear upon My oath I think 'tis so "Pish!" proudly sneered his GENERAL JOHN, And he also said "Ho! ho!" Bal "My GENERAL JOHN! my GENERAL JOHN! My GENERAL JOHN!" quoth he, "This aristocratical sneer upon Your face I blush to see! "No truly great or generous cove Would sneer at a fixed idea that's drove Said GENERAL JOHN, "Upon your claims If this is a joke, FULL-PRIVATE JAMES, "But, being a private of doubtless worth, If you feel certain quite That we were probably changed at birth, So GENERAL JOHN as PRIVATE JAMES And PRIVATE JAMES, by change of names, THE papers are parading the fact that her Majesty has conferred on SIR BENJAMIN GUINNESS the hereditary right to bear supporters in the family arms, "a distinction," so say our contemporaries; "limited, except in special cases, to peers of the realm." We can see nothing wonderful in this-sovereigns, of course, take precedence of peers of the realm, but sovereigns are inferior in value to guinness:-besides, the community have long been the stout sup-porters of the great GUINNESSES. News from the Gal-leys. Ir is stated that six female compositors, with blue ribbons in their hair, attract much attention in DUPONT's printing office, at the Paris Exhibition. We suspect they do less in the way of composing than of discomposing the visitors, who, we understand, do all the "making up," though with what success we cannot say. Of course the admirers of these fair "typos" cannot complain if the latter "cast them off," for that is simply in the way of business. They won't Wash! THE French laundresses have struck! Paris is terribly upset by this soap-sudden calamity. The friends of religious liberty even are startled by this declaration of the freedom of wash-up; but the prisoners in the various jails have heard with delight that the washerwomen are about to knock off their irons. Their expectations are, however, not warranted by the facts of the case, as the rebellious laundresses do not display any dangerous tendencies-no leanen' at all, in fact. Pish, tush, pooh, bah! THE latest announcement touching the Paris Exhibition is to the effect that it is to be visited shortly by the Persian potentate:-in short, it has been pooh-poohed so often that now it is to be Shah'd as well. Theatrical. WHY ought hen-houses to be built upon Shakesperian principles ? -Because they ought to "have their egg-sits and their entrances." FROM OUR STALL. Two or three revivals have taken place during the past fortnight. The Princess's has dished up Antony and Cleopatra with great care, we are told; but we have seen MISS GLYN perform in this tragedy so many times that we must excuse ourselves for not having visited Oxfordstreet to see the play again. Of course, we will take the splendour of the scenery and the talent of the acting for granted. We are happy to see Patter versus Clatter before the public again. MR. CHARLES MATHEWS has lost little (if any) of his old vivacity, and seems to dash through the laborious part of Captain Patter at a single breath. His delivery of the famous "When a Man Travels"-which was written for the elder MATHEWS by JAMES SMITH, by the way-is as rapid and as distinct as ever, in spite of the confusing manner in which it is accompanied by the Olympic orchestra. Ar the Adelphi, Henry Dunbar has been revived. Nothing shall induce us to go and see it. THE inimitable JOHN PARRY has given us a new musical sketch. He now takes us to the country seat of the Roseleaf couple, and brings before us the details of a village merrymaking. The fine pianoforte playing of JOHN PARRY fascinated as great a man as FELIX MENDELSSOHN; it fascinates us deeply, and we are not ashamed of confessing ourselves a little inferior to that well-known composer in point of musical genius. JOHN PARRY might have been amongst the most brilliant pianists of the day if he had not been one of its most genial humourists. His delicacy of touch is wonderful; THALBERG himself scarcely plays ornaments with a higher finish. He has the mysteries of the staccato at his finger-ends, and contrives in some unfathomable way to perform a pianissimo passage without even putting his foot on the soft pedal. His manner of mingling airs has made the fortune of a good many indifferent burlesques. In his last entertainment, MR. PARRY gives us too little playing; but his sketches of character are most artistically drawn, particularly the portrait of a commonplace conjuror. The THE FLIGHT OF A ROCKET. I SAW it soar into the vault of night A third resplendence cleaves the upper dark. And thus, I said, upon this busy earth, First gleams, then glooms, the fate of noble deeds! A death illustrious-an illustrious birth One date for both :-so worth to worth succeeds. Alas, the new blots out the older star, Too soon the memory of greatness goesBut when my meditations reached thus far, A rocket stick descended on my nose. Nottingham Lamb and Mint-sauce. WE are enabled to state that a blue-book will shortly be placed in the hands of hon. members, containing valuable information, elicited by the Election Committees, on the practice of bribery and intimidation at elections. It will be enriched with copious ex-planetory notes by the Man in the Moon. Latest from the Laughing-Gas-ometer. WHEN "Our Own Correspondent" in his letters to the daily journals speaks in terms of disparagement of the French Exhibition-and he generally finds some point to cavil at-his statements should be received with the utmost reserve. It would be idle to expect an impartial report from a writer whose pen is dipped in Gaul. Botanical Note. WE believe that the shepherds of Scotland describe the dog-rose as a colley-flower. description of a firework display rather disappointed us, although cleverly rendered; it should have been given musically. The glee of Mother Hubbard was charming. The performance in aid of the fund now being raised for the widow and family of poor CHARLES BENNETT, was a success in every way; and deservedly so, whether on account of the object of the performance, or the spirited manner in which the intentions of its promoters were carried out. Independently of the good cause in which the sympathies of the audience were enlisted, the performance possessed several features of special interest, which were almost sufficient in themselves to justify the high prices at which the seats were rated. Rumours of a charmingly operatized version of Box and Cox, written in MR. BURNAND'S wildest vein, and set to some of MR. SULLIVAN's most exquisite music, and which had been performed with the greatest éclat in private circles, had reached the public ear, and the public ear began to feel no little curiosity to hear more about it. Beside this, the programme contained many names of gentlemen who are known to fame as dramatic authors, journalists, and artists, but whose personal appearance is, to the general public, a matter of profound mystery, and at the same time, a matter of pleasant interest. MR. BURNAND'S version of Box and Cox-which he calls," Cox and Box"-is capitally written, and MR. SULLIVAN's music is charming throughout. The faults of the piece, as it stands, are twain. Firstly: MR. BURNAND should have operatized the whole farce, condensing it, at the same time, into the smallest compass, consistent with an intelligible reading of the plot. MR. MORTON's dialogue can only be properly given by MESSRS. BUCKSTONE and COMPTON, and in the mouths of any other actors it is, to those who have seen MESSRS. BUCKSTONE and COMPTON in the parts (and who has not ?) a bore. Secondly: MR. SULLIVAN's music is, in many places, of too high a class for the grotesquely absurd plot to which it is wedded. It is very funny, here and there, and grand or graceful where it is not funny; but the grand and the graceful, ha we think, too large a share of the honours to themselves. The music was capitally sung by MESSRS. DU MAURIER, QUINTIN, and BLUNT. The Moray Minstrels followed with many (too many) glees and madrigals; and MR. SHIRLEY BROOKS spoke an address. The Sheep in Wolf's Clothing followed, and the performance concluded with Les Deux Avengles with MESSRS. HAROLD POWER, and DU MAURIER in the two characters. The performance was in every way a complete success, and the sum realized by it falls little short of five hundred pounds. Turn the oh's on Him! We hear that a trial of fire-engines will take place during the season in the grounds of the Crystal Palace. It is expected that this will attract a large company, as, although it may rain in torrents everywhere el se, "MERRYWETHER" may confidently be expected at the Palace. POPKINS was at a party the other evening, where he shone with his accustomed lustre. Overhearing his host asking a lady to favour the company with a few airs from the Africaine, POPKINS interposed immediately, objecting that "You can't get 'airs from the Hafrican, because 'is 'air is wool!" Juswers to Correspondents. [We cannot return rejected MSS. or sketches unless they are accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope.] MOONSTRUCK.-Why allow yourself to be struck by a "loon"? You don't hit it exactly, though. W. R. S., Brompton.-Your copy could not well be W. R. S. G. W. C., Bow, writes "I en close you a thought." Is not this an interference with the freedom of thought? We will ask the commissioners for the Enclosing of Commons-but no! Thought is uncommon. Stay! we have it. What G. W. C. sends is no doubt his Bow ideal. TOBY, Gloster, is fated not Toby immortalised in our columns. BLARNEY says, "Should you think the enclosed worthy of publication you are at liberty to do so.' Well! we rather think MRS. BROWN long ago laid down the maxim that "thoughts is free." H. R. A., who sends us some lines entitled "The Poet's Home," is evidently not at home in his subject. E. T., Stockwell-park-road.-Already declined with thanks once. P. L.-"Out of the frying pan into the fire" evidently does not mean into the poetic fire. R. T. W.-Not worthy of notice. BRAINLESS, Banbury.-Apparently a case of "time was when the brains were out, the man would die"-rect his attention to comic writing. B. H. B.-A fatal accident does not seem to us a fit subject for a joke. F. M. Westgate-street, Ipswich.-We trust you will find a market for the joke which, as you tell us, you have sent simultaneously to so many papers. It appears to us as far-fetched as it is widely disseminated. E. R., York. We are always ready to examine what is submitted to us. H. P. W.-Stamps for subscription duly received-thanks. Declined with thanks-8 Ward, Christ's Hospital; H. P., Henriettastreet; T. Bull; W. M. P., Carlow; E. C., Ipswich; D. P., Liverpool; Islington; H. M., Cloglyordan; M. M., Canning-place; D. D., ManH. Wix; Tig; Billy Barlow, Edinburgh; S. W. E-n; J. H. C.; J. C. S., chester; A. C. V.; C. H. H, Lee; C. J. P., St. John's Wood; G. D., Nottingham; V. X. E.; S. G.; E. A., Birkenhead; P. D. A.; G. P.; G. H.; B. D., Kilburn; F. J., Waltham; A Poll-ish Off-'is-'air; Charles, A SMOOTH BORE.-Young HOPEFUL's chin when his beard won't Newcastle-on-Tyne; Little in Much; Query; B. L. S., Wood-street; grow. Cotton-ball; W. H. Aunt:-"HE'S A DEAR LITTLE FELLOW-BLESS HIM! RATHER BACKWARD THOUGH, ANGELINA: EIGHT MONTHS OLD AND NOT A HAIR!" Angelina :-"Now, ADOLPHUS AND I REGARD THAT QUITE AS AN ADVANTAGE, AUNT. YOU SEE THERE'S SO MUCH THE MORE SPACE AVAILABLE FOR KISSING HIM ON." London: Printed by JUDD & GLASS, Phoenix Works, St. Andrew's Hill, Doetors' Commons, and Published (for the Proprietor) by W. ALDER, at 80, Fleet-street, E.C.June 1, 1867. |