King. Too bitter is thy jest. Are we betray'd thus to thy over-view? Biron. Not you by me, but I betray'd to you; I, that am honest; I, that hold it sin To break the vow I am engaged in ; I am betray'd, by keeping company With moon-like men, of strange inconstancy. When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme? Or groan for Joan? or spend a minute's time In pruning me? When shall you hear, that I Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye, A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist, A leg, a limb? King. Soft; whither away so fast? A true man, or a thief, that gallops so? Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTARD. Jaq. God bless the king! What present hast thou there? Cost. Some certain treason. King. What makes treason here? Cost. Nay, it makes nothing, sir. King. If it mar nothing neither, The treason, and you, go in peace away together, Jaq. I beseech your grace, let this letter be read; Our parson misdoubts it; 'twas treason, he said. King. Biron, read it over. (Giving him the letter.) -Where hadst thou it? Jaq. Of Costard. King. Where hadst thou it? Cost. Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio. King. How now! what is in you? why dost thou tear it? [not fear it. Biron. A toy, my liege, a toy; your grace needs Long. It did move him to passion, and therefore let's hear it. Dum. It is Biron's writing, and here is his name. (Picks up the pieces.) Biron. Ah, you whoreson loggerhead, (to Costard) you were born to do me shame.Guilty, my lord, guilty; I confess, I confess. King. What? Biron. That you three fools lack'd me fool to make up the mess; He, be, and you, my liege, and I, Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die. True, true; we are four :- Hence, sirs; away. Cost. Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay. [Exeunt Cost. and Jaquenet. Biron. Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O let us embrace! As true we are, as flesh and blood can be: The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face; Young blood will not obey an old decree : We cannot cross the cause why we were born; Therefore, of all hands must we be forsworn. King. What, did these rent lines show some love of thine? [heavenly Rosaline, Biron. Did they, quoth you? Who sees the That, like a rude and savage man of Inde, At the first opening of the gorgeous east, Bows not his vassal head; and, strucken blind, Kisses the base ground with obedient breast? What peremptory eagle-sighted eye Dares look upon the heaven of her brow, That is not blinded by her majesty? King. What zeal, what fury hath inspir'd thee My love, her mistress, is a gracious moon; She, an attending star, scarce seen a light. [now? Biron. My eyes are then no eyes, nor I Birón: O, but for my love, day would turn to night! Of all complexions the cull'd sovereignty Do meet, as at a fair, in her fair cheek; Where several worthies make one dignity; Where nothing wants, that want itself doth seek. Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues, Fy, painted rhetoric! Ŏ, she needs it not: O, who can give an oath? where is a book? No face is fair, that is not full so black. O, if in black my lady's brows be deckt, It mourns, that painting, and usurping hair, Should ravish doters with a false aspect; And therefore is she born to make black fair. Her favour turns the fashion of the days; For native blood is counted painting now; And therefore red, that would avoid dispraise, Paints itself black, to imitate her brow. Dum. To look like her, are chimney-sweepers black. [bright. Long. And, since her time, are colliers counted King. And Ethiops of their sweet complexion crack. [light. Dum. Dark needs no candles now, for dark is Biron. Your mistresses dare never come in rain, For fear their colours should be wash'd away. King. "Twere good yours did; for, sir, to tell you plain, I'll find a fairer face not wash'd to-day. Biron. I'll prove her fair, or talk till dooms-day here. [she. King. No devil will fright thee then so much as Dum. I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear. Long. Look, here's thy love my foot and her face see. (Showing his shoe.) Biron. O, if the streets were paved with thine Long. O, some authority how to proceed; Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the devil. Dum. Some salve for perjury. Biron. And where that you have vow'd to study, lords, The nimble spirits in the arteries; As motion, and long-during action, tires And where we are, our learning likewise is. [lords; Biron. Advance your standards, and upon them, Pell-mell, down with them! but be first advis'd, In conflict that you get the sun of them. Long. Now to plain dealing; lay these glozes by: Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France? King. And win them too; therefore let us devise Some entertainment for them in their tents. Biron. First, from the park let us conduct them thither; Then, homeward, every man attach the hand We will with some strange pastime solace them, SCENE I.-Another part of the same. Enter HOLOFERNES, Sir NATHANIEL, and DULL. Hol. Satis quod sufficit. Nath. I praise God for you, sir: your reasons at dinner have been sharp and sententious; pleasant without scurrility, witty without affection, audacious without impudency, learned without opinion, and strange without heresy. I did converse this quondam day with a companion of the king's, who is intituled, nominated, or called, Don Adriano de Armado. Hol. Novi hominem tanquam te: His humour is lofty, his discourse peremptory, his tongue filed, his eye ambitious, his gait majestical, and his general behaviour vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. He is too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd, as it were, too perigrinate, as I may call it. Nath. A most singular and choice epithet. (Takes out his table-book.) Hol. He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument. I abhor such fanatical fantasms, such insociable and point-devise companions, such rackers of orthography, as to speak, dout, fine, when he should say, doubt; det, when he should pronounce, debt; d, e, b, t; not d, e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf; half, hauf; neighbour, vocatur, nebour; neigh, abbreviated, ne: This is abhominable, (which he would call abominable,) it insinuateth me of insanie; Ne intelligis domine? to make frantic, lunatic. Nath. Laus deo, bone intelligo. Hol. Bone?- -bone, for benè: Priscian a little scratch'd; 'twill serve. Enter ARMADO, MOTH, and CoStard. (To Moth.) Hol. Quare Chirra, not sirrah? Arm. Men of peace, well encounter'd. Hol. Most military sir, salutation. Moth. They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps. (To Costard aside.) Cost. O, they have lived long in the alms-basket of words! I marvel, thy master hath not eaten thee for a word; for thou art not so long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier swallowed than a flap-dragon. Moth. Peace; the peal begins. Arm. Monsieur, (to Hol.) are you not letter'd? Moth. Yes, yes; he teaches boys the horn-book:What is a, b, spelt backward with a horn on his head? Hol. Ba, pueritia, with a horn added. Moth. Ba, most silly sheep, with a horn:-You hear his learning. Hol. Quis, quis, thou consonant? Moth. The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or the fifth, if I. Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, i,— true wit. Moth. The sheep: the other two concludes it; o, u. Arm. Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet touch, a quick venew of wit: snip, snap, quick and home; it rejoiceth my intellect: [wit-old. Moth. Offer'd by a child to an old man; which is Hol. What is the figure? what is the figure? Moth. Horns. Hol. Thou disputest like an infant go, whip thy Moth. Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about your infamy circùm circà; A gig of a cuckold's horn! [gig. Cos. An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst have it to buy gingerbread: hold, there is the very remuneration I had of thy master, thou half-penny purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an the heavens were so pleased, that thou wert but my bastard! what a joyful father wouldst thou make me! Go to; thou hast it ad dunghill, at thy fingers' ends, as they say. Hol. O, I smell false Latin; dunghill for unguem. Arm. Arts-man, præambula; we will be singled from the barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the charge-house on the top of the mountain? Hol. Or, mons, the hill. Arm. At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain. Hol. I do, sans question. Arm. Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and affection, to congratulate the princess at her pavilion, in the posteriors of this day; which the rude multitude call, the afternoon. Hol. The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable for the afternoon: the word is well cull'd, chose; sweet and apt, I do assure you, sir, I do assure. Arm. Sir, the king is a noble gentleman; and my familiar, I do assure you, very good friend :For what is inward between us, let it pass :-I do beseech thee, remember thy courtesy ;-I beseech thee, apparel thy head;-and among other importunate and most serious designs, and of great import indeed, too;-but let that pass :--for I must tell thee, it will please his grace (by the world) sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder; and with his royal finger, thus, dally with my excrement, with my mustachio: but, sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no fable; some certain special honours it pleaseth his greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of travel, that hath seen the world: but let that pass. The very all of all is, but, sweet heart, I do implore secrecy,-that the king would have me present the princess, sweet chuck, with some delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or antic, or fire-work. Now, understanding that the curate and your sweet self are good at such eruptions, and sudden breaking out of mirth, as it were, I have acquainted you withal, to the end to crave your assistance. Hol. Sir, you shall present before her the nine worthies.-Sir Nathaniel, as concerning some entertainment of time, some show in the posterior of this day, to be rendered by our assistance,-the king's command, and this most gallant, illustrate, and learned gentleman, before the princess; I say, none so fit as to present the nine worthies. Nath. Where will you find men worthy enough to present them? Hol. Joshua, yourself; myself, or this gallant gentleman, Judas Maccabæus; this swain, because of his great limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the great; the page, Hercules. Arm. Pardon, sir, error: he is not quantity enough for that worthy's thumb: he is not so big as the end of his club. Hol. Shall I have audience? he shall present Hercules in minority: his enter and exit shall be strangling a snake; and I will have an apology for that purpose. : Moth. An excellent device! so, if any of the audience hiss, you may cry well done, Hercules! now thou crushest the snake! that is the way to make an offence gracious; though few have the grace to Arm. For the rest of the worthies?- [do it. Hol. I will play three myself. Moth. Thrice-worthy gentleman! Arm, Shall I tell you a thing? Hol. We attend. Arm. We will have, if this fadge not, an antic. I beseech you, follow. Hol. Via, goodman Dull! thou hast spoken no word all this while. Dull. Nor understood none neither, sir. Hol. Allons! we will employ thee. Dull. I'll make one in a dance, or so: or I will play on the tabor to the worthies, and let them dance the hay. Hol. Most dull, honest Dull, to our sport, away. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-Another part of the same. Before the Princess's Pavilion. Enter the PRINCESS, KATHARINE, ROSALINE, and MARIA. Prin. Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart, If fairings come thus plentifully in: A lady wall'd about with diamonds! Look you, what I have from the loving king. Ros. Madam, came nothing else along with that? Prin. Nothing but this? yes, as much love in rhyme, As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper, Writ on both sides the leaf, margent and all; That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name. Ros. That was the way to make his god-head wax; For he hath been five thousand years a boy. Kath. Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too. Ros. You'll ne'er be friends with him; he kill'd your sister. Kath. He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy; And so she died: had she been light, like you, Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit, She might have been a grandam ere she died: And so may you; for a light heart lives long. Ros. What's your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word? Kath. A light condition in a beauty dark. [out. Ros. We need more light to find your meaning Kath. You'll mar the light, by taking it in snuff; Therefore, I'll darkly end the argument. Ros. Look, what you do, you do it still i' the dark. Kath. So do not you; for you are a light wench. Ros. Indeed, I weigh not you; and therefore light. [for me. Kath. You weigh me not,-O, that's you care not Ros. Great reason; for, Past cure is still past care. Prin. Well bandied both; a set of wit well play'd. But Rosaline, you have a favour too: Who sent it! and what is it? Ros. I would, you knew: Ros. Much, in the letters; nothing in the praise. My red dominical, my golden letter: Kath. Apox of that jest! and beshrew all shrows! Prin. Did he not send you twain? Kath. Yes, madam; and moreover, Some thousand verses of a faithful lover: A huge translation of hypocrisy. Vilely compil'd, profound simplicity. Mar. This, and these pearls, to me sent LongaThe letter is too long by half a mile. [heart, [ville; Prin. I think no less: Dost thou not wish in The chain were longer, and the letter short? [part. Mar. Ay, or I would these hands might never Prin. We are wise girls, to mock our lovers so. Ros. They are worse fools to purchase mocking so. That same Birón I'll torture ere I go. O, that I knew he were but in by the week! Prin. None are so surely caught, when they are catch'd, As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd, Prin. Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face. Boyet. O, I am stabb'd with laughter? Where's her grace? Prin. Thy news, Boyet? That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say. I should have fear'd her had she been a devil. shoulder; Making the bold wag by their praises bolder. thus, Like Muscovites, or Russians: as I guess, Their purpose is, to parle, to court, and dance: And every one his love-feat will advance ? Unto his several mistress; which they'll know For, ladies, we will every one be mask'd; Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear; Kath. But, in this changing, what is your intent? Ros. But shall we dance, if they desire us to't? Prin. No; to the death, we will not move a foot: Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace; But, while 'tis spoke, each turn away her face. Boyet. Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart, And quite divorce his memory from his part. Prin. Therefore I do it; and, I make no doubt, The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out. There's no such sport, as sport by sport o'erthrown; To make theirs ours, and ours none but our own: So shall we stay, mocking intended game; And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame. (Trumpets sound within.) Boyet. The trumpet sounds; be mask'd, the maskers come. (The Ladies mask.) Enter the KING, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DuMAIN, in Russian habits, and masked; MOTH, Musicians, and Attendants. Moth. All hail the richest beauties on the earth! Boyet. Beauties no richer than rich taffeta. Moth. A holy parcel of the fairest dames, (The ladies turn their backs to him.) That ever turn'd their-backs-to mortal views! Moth. That ever turn'd their eyes to mortal views! Out Boyet. True; out, indeed. Moth. Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchNot to behold Biron. Once to behold, rogue. [safe Moth. Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes, —with your sun-beamed eyes Boyet. They will not answer to that epithet, You were best call it, daughter-beamed eyes. Moth. They do not mark me, and that brings me out. If they do speak our language, 'tis our will Boyet. What would you with the princess? [gone. gone. Boyet. She says, you have it, and you may be King. Say to her, we have measur'd many miles, To tread a measure with her on this grass. Boyet. They say that they have measur'd many a mile, To tread a measure with you on this grass. Boyet. If, to come hither, you have measur'd miles, How many weary steps, Of many weary miles yon have o'ergone, Are number'd in the travel of one mile? [you; Biron. We number nothing that we spend for Our duty is so rich, so infinite, That we may do it still without accompt. Vouchsafe to shew the sunshine of your face, That we, like savages, may worship it. Ros. My face is but a moon, and clouded too. King. Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do! Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine (Those clouds remov'd,) upon our wat'ry eyne. Ros. O vain petitioner! beg a greater matter; Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water. King. Then, in our measure, do but vouchsafe one change: soon. Thou bid'st me beg; this begging is not strange. Ros. Play, music, then: nay, you must do it (Music plays.) Not yet;no dance :-thus change I like the moon. King. Will you not dance? How come you thus estrang'd? Ros. You took the moon at full; but now she's chang'd. King. Yet still she is the moon, and I the man. The music plays; vouchsafe some motion to it. Ros. Our ears vouchsafe it. King. But your legs should do it. Ros. Since you are strangers, and come here by chance, We'll not be nice: take hands ;-we will not dance. King. Why take we hands then? Ros. Only to part friends :Court'sy, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends. King. More measure of this measure; be not nice. Ros. We can afford no more at such a price. King, Prize you yourselves; What buys your company? Your absence only. Ros. King. That can never be. Ros. Then cannot we be bought: and so adieu; Twice to your visor, and half once to you! King. If you deny to dance, let's hold more chat. Ros. In private then. King. I am best pleas'd with that. (They converse apart.) Biron. White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee. [three. Prin. Honey, and milk, and sugar; there is Biron. Nay then, two treys, (an if you grow so nice,) Metheglin, wort, and malmsey;-Well run, dice! There's half a dozen sweets. Prin. Seventh sweet, adieu! Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you. Biron. One word in secret. Let it not be sweet. Gall! bitter. Biron. Thou griev'st my gall. Prin. Biron. Therefore meet. (They converse apart.) Dum. Will you vouchsafe with me to change a [word? Say you so? Fair lord, Mar. Name it. Dum. Mar. Fair lady,Take that for your fair lady. Dum. Please it you, As much in private, and I'll bid adieu." (They converse apart.) Kath. What, was your visor made without a tongue? Long. I know the reason, lady, why you ask. Kath. O, for your reason! quickly, sir; I long. Long. You have a double tongue within your mask, And would afford my speechless visor half. No, a fair lord calf. Long. Let's part the word. No, I'll not be your half: Will you give horns, chaste lady? do not so. Kath. Then die a calf, before your horns do grow Long. One word in private with you, ere I die. Kath. Bleat softly then, the butcher hears you cry. (They converse apart.) Boyet. The tongues of mocking wenches are as As is the razor's edge invisible, [keen Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen; Above the sense of sense: so sensible Seemeth their conference; their conceits have wings, Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things. [break off. Ros. Not one word more, my maids; break off, [Exeunt King, Lords, Moth, Music, and Attendants. Prin. Birón did swear himself out of all suit. Go, sickness as thou art! Ros. Well, better wits have worn plain statutecaps. But will you hear? the king is my love sworn. Boyet. They will, they will, God knows; And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows; Therefore, change favours; and, when they repair, Blow like sweet roses in this summer air. Prin. How blow? how blow? speak to be under stood. Boyet. Fair ladies, mask'd, are roses in their bud: Dismask'd, their damask sweet commixture shown, Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown. Prin. Avaunt, perplexity? What shall we do, If they return in their own shapes to woo? Ros. Good madam, if by me you'll be advis'd, Let's mock them still, as well known, as disguis'd: Let us complain to them what fools were here, Disguis'd like Muscovites, in shapeless gear; And wonder, what they were; and to what end Their shallow shows, and prologue vilely penn'd, And their rough carriage so ridiculous, Should be presented at our tent to us. |