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King. Too bitter is thy jest. Are we betray'd thus to thy over-view? Biron. Not you by me, but I betray'd to you; I, that am honest; I, that hold it sin To break the vow I am engaged in ; I am betray'd, by keeping company With moon-like men, of strange inconstancy. When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme? Or groan for Joan? or spend a minute's time In pruning me? When shall you hear, that I Will praise a a foot, a face, an eye, A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist, A leg, a limb?
King. Soft; whither away so fast? A true man, or a thief, that gallops so? Biron. I post from love; good lover, let me go. Enter JAQUENETTA and CoSTARD.
What makes treason here?
Jaq. God bless the king! King. What present hast thou there? Cost. Some certain treason. King. Cost. Nay, it makes nothing, sir. King. If it mar nothing neither, The treason, and you, go in peace away together, Jaq. I beseech your grace, let this letter be read; Our parson misdoubts it; 'twas treason, he said. King. Biron, read it over. (Giving him the letter.) -Where hadst thou it?
Jaq. Of Costard.
King. Where hadst thou it?
Cost. Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio. King. How now! what is in you? why dost thou tear it? [not fear it. Biron. A toy, my liege, a toy; your grace needs Long. It did move him to passion, and therefore let's hear it.
Dum. It is Biron's writing, and here is his name. (Picks up the pieces.) Biron. Ah, you whoreson loggerhead, (to Costard) you were born to do me shame.Guilty, my lord, guilty; I confess, I confess. King. What?
Biron. That you three fools lack'd me fool to make up the mess;
He, be, and you, my liege, and I,
Biron. True, true; we are four :Will these turtles be gone? King. Hence, sirs; away. Cost. Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay. [Exeunt Cost. and Jaquenet, Biron. Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O let us embrace!
As true we are, as flesh and blood can be: The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face ; Young blood will not obey an old decree : We cannot cross the cause why we were born; Therefore, of all hands must we be forsworn.
King. What, did these rent lines show some love of thine? [heavenly Rosaline, Biron. Did they, quoth you? Who sees the That, like a rude and savage man of Inde,
At the first opening of the gorgeous east, Bows not his vassal head; and, strucken blind, Kisses the base ground with obedient breast? What peremptory eagle-sighted eye Dares look upon the heaven of her brow, That is not blinded by her majesty?
King. What zeal, what fury hath inspir'd thee My love, her mistress, is a gracious moon; She, an attending star, scarce seen a light.
Where nothing wants, that want itself doth seek. Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues,
Fy, painted rhetoric! Ŏ, she needs it not: To things of sale a seller's praise belongs;
She passes praise; then praise too short doth A wither'd hermit, five-score winters worn, Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye: Beauty doth varnish age, as if new-born, And gives the crutch the cradle's infancy. O, 'tis the sun that maketh all things shine! King. By heaven, thy love is black as ebony. Biron. Is ebony like her? O wood divine!
A wife of such wood were felicity.
Biron. My eyes are then no eyes, nor I Birón: O, but for my love, day would turn to night! Of all complexions the cull'd sovereignty
Do meet, as at a fair, in her fair cheek; Where several worthies make one dignity;
O, who can give an oath? where is a book?
No face is fair, that is not full so black.
The hue of dungeons, and the scowl of night; And beauty's crest becomes the heavens well. Biron. Devils soonest tempt, resembling spirits of light.
O, if in black my lady's brows be deckt,
It mourns, that painting, and usurping hair, Should ravish doters with a false aspect;
And therefore is she born to make black fair. Her favour turns the fashion of the days;
For native blood is counted painting now; And therefore red, that would avoid dispraise, Paints itself black, to imitate her brow. Dum. To look like her, are chimney-sweepers black. [bright. Long. And, since her time, are colliers counted King. And Ethiops of their sweet complexion crack. [light. Dum. Dark needs no candles now, for dark is Biron. Your mistresses dare never come in rain,
For fear their colours should be wash'd away. King. 'Twere good yours did; for, sir, to tell you plain,
I'll find a fairer face not wash'd to-day. Biron. I'll prove her fair, or talk till dooms-day here. [she. King. No devil will fright thee then so much as Dum. I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear. Long. Look, here's thy love my foot and her face see. (Showing his shoe.) Biron. O, if the streets were paved with thine eyes,
Her feet were much too dainty for such tread! Dum. O vile! then as she goes, what upward lies
The street should see, as she walk'd over head. King. But what of this? Are we not all in love? Biron. O, nothing so sure; and thereby all for[now prove King. Then leave this chat; and, good Birón, Our loving lawful, and our faith not torn. Dum. Ay, marry, there ;-some flattery for this evil.
Long. O, some authority how to proceed;
And where that you have vow'd to study, lords,
The nimble spirits in the arteries;
For charity itself fulfils the law;
King. Saint Cupid, then! and, soldiers, to the
Biron. Advance your standards, and upon them, Pell-mell, down with them! but be first advis'd, In conflict that you get the sun of them.
Long. Now to plain dealing; lay these glozes by: Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France?
King. And win them too; therefore let us devise Some entertainment for them in their tents.
Biron. First, from the park let us conduct them thither;
Then, homeward, every man attach the hand Of his fair mistress: in the afternoon
We will with some strange pastime solace them,
Biron. Allons! allons!-Sow'd cockle reap'd no
And justice always whirls in equal measure: Light wenches may prove plagues to men forsworn; If so, our copper buys no better treasure. [Exeunt.
SCENE I.-Another part of the same. Enter HOLOFERNES, Sir NATHANIEL, and DULL. Hol. Satis quod sufficit.
Nath. I praise God for you, sir: your reasons at dinner have been sharp and sententious; pleasant without scurrility, witty without affection, audacious without impudency, learned without opinion, and strange without heresy. I did converse this quondam day with a companion of the king's, who is intituled, nominated, or called, Don Adriano de Armado.
Hol. Novi hominem tanquam te: His humour is lofty, his discourse peremptory, his tongue filed, his eye ambitious, his gait majestical, and his general behaviour vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. He is too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd, as it were, too perigrinate, as I may call it. Nath. A most singular and choice epithet. (Takes out his table-book.) Hol. He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument. I abhor such fanatical fantasms, such insociable and point-devise companions, such rackers of orthography, as to speak, dout, fine, when he should say, doubt; det, when he should pronounce, debt; d, e, b, t; not d, e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf; half, hauf; neighbour, vocatur, nebour; neigh, abbreviated, ne: This is abhominable, (which he would call abominable,) it insinuateth me of insanie; Ne intelligis domine? to make frantic, lunatic.
Nath. Laus deo, bone intelligo.
Hol. Bone?- -bone, for benè: Priscian a little scratch'd; 'twill serve.
Hol. Quare Chirra, not sirrah?
Moth. They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps. (To Costard aside.)
Cost. O, they have lived long in the alms-basket of words! I marvel, thy master hath not eaten thee for a word; for thou art not so long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier swallowed than a flap-dragon.
Moth. Peace; the peal begins.
Arm. Monsieur, (to Hol.) are you not letter'd? Moth. Yes, yes; he teaches boys the horn-book:What is a, b, spelt backward with a horn on his head? Hol. Ba, pueritia, with a horn added.
Moth. Ba, most silly sheep, with a horn:-You hear his learning.
Hol. Quis, quis, thou consonant?
Moth. The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or the fifth, if I.
Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, i,
Moth. The sheep: the other two concludes it; o, u. Arm. Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet touch, a quick venew of wit: snip, snap, quick and home; it rejoiceth my intellect: [wit-old. Moth. Offer'd by a child to an old man; which is Hol. What is the figure? what is the figure? Moth. Horns.
[gig. Hol. Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip thy Moth. Lend me your horn to make one, and will whip about your infamy circum circà; Â gig of a cuckold's horn!
Cos. An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst have it to buy gingerbread: hold, there is the very remuneration I had of thy master, thou half-penny purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an the heavens were so pleased, that thou wert but my bastard! what a joyful father wouldst thou make me! Go to; thou hast it ad dunghill, at thy fingers' ends, as they say.
Hol. O, I smell false Latin; dunghill for unguem. Arm. Arts-man, præambula; we will be singled from the barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the charge-house on the top of the mountain?
Hol. Or, mons, the hill.
Arm. At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.
Arm. Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and affection, to congratulate the princess at her pavilion, in the posteriors of this day; which the rude multitude call, the afternoon.
Hol. The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable for the afternoon: the word is well cull'd, chose; sweet and apt, I do assure you, sir, I do assure.
Arm. Sir, the king is a noble gentleman; and my familiar, I do assure you, very good friend:For what is inward between us, let it pass:-I do beseech thee, remember thy courtesy-I beseech thee, apparel thy head;-and among other importunate and most serious designs, and of great import indeed, too;-but let that pass-for I must tell thee, it will please his grace (by the world) sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder; and with his royal finger, thus, dally with my excrement, with my mustachio: but, sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no fable; some certain special honours it pleaseth his greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of travel, that hath seen the world: but let that pass. The very all of all is, but, sweet heart, do implore secrecy,-that the king would have me present the princess, sweet chuck, with some delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or antic, or fire-work. Now, understanding that the curate and your sweet self are good at such eruptions, and sudden breaking out of mirth, as it were, I have acquainted you withal, to the end to crave your assistance.
Hol. Sir, you shall present before her the nine worthies.-Sir Nathaniel, as concerning some entertainment of time, some show in the posterior of this day, to be rendered by our assistance,-the king's command, and this most gallant, illustrate, and learned gentleman,-before the princess; I say, none so fit as to present the nine worthies.
Nath. Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?
Hol. Joshua, yourself; myself, or this gallant gentleman, Judas Maccabæus; this swain, because of his great limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the great; the page, Hercules.
Arm. Pardon, sir, error: he is not quantity enough for that worthy's thumb: he is not so big as the end of his club.
Dull. Nor understood none neither, sir.
Dull. I'll make one in a dance, or so: or I will
Hol. Most dull, honest Dull, to our sport, away.
SCENE II. Another part of the same. Before the
Prin. Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper,
Ros. That was the way to make his god-head wax;
Kath. He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy;
Kath. A light condition in a beauty dark. [out.
Ros. Look, what you do, you do it still i' the dark.
I would, you knew:
Ros. Much, in the letters; nothing in the praise.
My red dominical, my golden letter:
Kath. A pox of that jest! and beshrew all shrows!
Mar. This, and these pearls, to me sent Longa-
Prin. I think no less: Dost thou not wish in
O, that I knew he were but in by the week!
Prin. None are so surely caught, when they are catch'd,
As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd,
As gravity's revolt to wantonness.
Mar. Folly in fools bears not so strong a note, As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote; Since all the power thereof it doth apply, To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
Prin. Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.
Like Muscovites, or Russians: as I guess,
For, ladies, we will every one be mask'd; And not a man of them shall have the grace, Despight of suit, to see a lady's face.
Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear;
And change you favours too; so shall your loves
Kath. But, in this changing, what is your intent?
Ros. But shall we dance, if they desire us to't? Prin. No; to the death, we will not move a foot: Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace; But, while 'tis spoke, each turn away her face. Boyet. Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part.
Boyet. What would you with the princess? Biron. Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation. Ros. What would they, say they?
Boyet. Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation. Ros. Why, that they have; and bid them so be gone. [gone. Boyet. She says, you have it, and you may be King. Say to her, we have measur'd many miles, To tread a measure with her on this grass. Boyet. They say that they have measur'd many a mile,
To tread a measure with you on this grass.
Boyet. If, to come hither, you have measur'd
And many miles; the princess bids you tell,
Biron. Tell her, we measure them by weary steps.
Boyet. She hears herself. Ros. How many weary steps, Of many weary miles you have o'ergone, Are number'd in the travel of one mile?
Biron. We number nothing that we spend for Our duty is so rich, so infinite, That we may do it still without accompt. Vouchsafe to shew the sunshine of your face, That we, like savages, may worship it.
Ros. My face is but a moon, and clonded too. King. Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do! Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine
(Those clouds remov'd,) upon our wat'ry eyne.
Ros. O vain petitioner! beg a greater matter; Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water. King. Then, in our measure, do but vouchsafe one change: Thou bid'st me beg; this begging is not strange. Ros. Play, music, then: nay, you must do it (Music plays.) Not yet; no dance :-thus change I like the moon. King. Will you not dance? How come you thus estrang'd?
Ros. You took the moon at full; but now she's chang'd.
King. Yet still she is the moon, and I the man. The music plays; vouchsafe some motion to it. Ros. Our ears vouchsafe it. King. But your legs should do it. Ros. Since you are strangers, and come here by chance, We'll not be nice: take hands ;-we will not dance. King. Why take we hands then? Ros. Only to part friends :Court'sy, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends. King. More measure of this measure; be not
Ros. We can afford no more at such a price. King. Prize you yourselves; What buys your company? Ros. Your absence only. King. That can never be. Ros. Then cannot we be bought: and so adieu; Twice to your visor, and half once to you! King. If you deny to dance, let's hold more chat. Ros. In private then. King.
I am best pleas'd with that. (They converse apart.) Biron. White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee. [three. Prin. Honey, and milk, and sugar; there is Biron. Nay then, two treys, (an if you grow so nice,) Metheglin, wort, and malmsey;-Well run, dice! There's half a dozen sweets.
Prin. Seventh sweet, adieu! Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you. Biron. One word in secret. Prin.
Biron. Thou griev'st my gall.
Let it not be sweet.
Kath. O, for your reason! quickly, sir; I long. Long. You have a double tongue within your mask,
Therefore meet. (They converse apart.) Dum. Will you vouchsafe with me to change a Mar. Name it. [word? Dum. Mar. Say you so? Fair lord,Take that for your fair lady. Dum. Please it you, As much in private, and I'll bid adieu." (They converse apart.) Kath. What, was your visor made without a
tongue? Long. I know the reason, lady, why you ask.
And would afford my speechless visor half. Kath. Veal, quoth the Dutchman ;-Is not veal a calf?
Long. A calf, fair lady? Kath.
No, a fair lord calf.
Long. Let's part the word.
Will you give horns, chaste lady? do not so.
[Exeunt King, Lords, Moth, Music, and Attendants.
Kath. Yes, in good faith.
But will you hear? the king is my love sworn.
Boyet. They will, they will, God knows And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows; Therefore, change favours; and, when they repair, Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
Prin. How blow? how blow? speak to be understood.
Boyet. Fair ladies, mask'd, are roses in their bud: Dismask'd, their damask sweet commixture shown, Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown. Prin. Avaunt, perplexity? What shall we do, If they return in their own shapes to woo?
Ros. Good madam, if by me you'll be advis'd, Let's mock them still, as well known, as disguis'd: Let us complain to them what fools were here, Disguis'd like Muscovites, in shapeless gear; And wonder, what they were; and to what end Their shallow shows, and prologue vilely penn'd, And their rough carriage so ridiculous, Should be presented at our tent to us.