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BATTLE OF THE KEGS.-F. HOPKINSON.
GALLANTS, attend, and hear a friend,
Thrill forth harmonious ditty : Strange things I'll tell, which late befel
In Philadelphia city.
'Twas early day, as poets say,
Just when the sun was rising, A soldier stood on log of wood,
And saw a sight surprising.
As in a maze, he stood to gaze,
(The truth can't be denied, sir) He spied a score of KEGS or more
Come floating down the tide, sir.
A sailor, too, in jerkin blue,
The strange appearance viewing, Wide ope'd his eyes, in great surprise;
Then said_“Some mischief's brewing.
6 These kegs now hold the rebels bold,
"Pack'd up like pickled herring; “ And they're come down, t' attack the town
"In this new way of ferry'ng."
The soldier flew the sailor too
And, scar'd almost to death, sir, Wore out their shoes, to spread the news;
And ran till out of breath, sir.
Now up and down, throughout the town,
Most frantic scenes were acted :
Like men almost distracted.
Some “ Fire !" cried; which some denied,
Some said the earth did quake;
And girls and boys, with hideous noise,
Ran as if their necks to break.
Sir William* he, snug as a flea,
Lay all this time a snoring; Nor dreamt of harm, as he lay warm
Within his pleasant mooring.
Now in a fright, he starts upright,
Awak’d by such a clatter : He rubs both eyes; and boldly cries,
“ Why, mercy ! what's the matter ?"
At his bed-side, he then espied
Sir Erskinet at command, sir; Upon one foot, he had one boot,
And t other in his hand, sir.
6 Arise! arise !" sir Erskine cries :
“The rebels-more's the pity“ Without a boat, are all on float,
"And rang'd before the city.
“ The motley crew, in vessels new,
“ With Satan for their guide, sir, " Pack'd up in bags, or wooden KEGS,
“ Come driving down the tide, sir.
“Therefore, prepare for bloody war:
“ These KEGS must all be routed : “Or surely we despised shall be, 6 And British courage
The royal band now steady stand,
All rang'd in dread array, sir. With stomachs stout to see it out,
And make a bloody day, sir.
* Sir William Howe.
+ Sir William Erskine.
The cannons roar, from shore to shore;
The small arms make a rattle,
E’er saw so strange a battle.
The rebel * vales, the rebel dales,
With rebel trees surrounded,
With rebel echoes sounded.
The fish below swam to and fro,
Attack'd from ev'ry quarter:
“Mongst folks above the water."
The keys, 'tis said, though strongly made
Of rebel staves and hoops, sir,
The conqu’ring British troops, sir.
From morn to night, those men of might
Display'd amazing courage ;
Retir'd to sup their porridge.
An hundred men, with each a pen,
Or more, upon my word, sir,
Their valor to record, sir.
Such feats did they perform that day,
Upon those wicked kers, sir,
They'll make their boasts and brags, sir.
* The British officers were so fond of the word rebel, that they often applied it most absurdly.
ORATOR PUFF.—THOMAS MOORE.
Mr. ORATOR PUFF had two tones in his voice,
The one squeaking thus, and the other down so;
Oh ! oh! Orator Puff,
But he still talked away, spite of coughs and of frowns,
Oh! oh! Orator Puff,
Reeling homewards, one evening, top-heavy with gin,
And rehearsing his speech on the weight of the crown, He tripp'd near a saw.pit, and tumbled right in, “Sinking fund,” the last words as his noddle came down,
Oh! Oh! Orator Puff,
« Oh! save !" he exclaim'd, in his he-and-she-tones,
Help me out! help me out !—I have broken my bones !" “Help you out !" said a Paddy, who passed, “what a bother! Why, there's two of you there ; can't you help one another ?"
Oh! oh! Orator Puff,
LIVING UP FIVE PAIR OF STAIRS.-ANON.
Such a thing as true bliss in this life is a bubble,
Some grievance or other our peace is destroying,
As your wife and your daughters are quietly sitting
From slumber you're roused by loud knocking and ringing,
the door to see who it is dunning,