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The second meeting of the Eton Dull Club was held on Monday last. Mr. Ignoramus in the chair.
The Chairman having called over the names, began the business by stating, that, in compliance with the wishes of the Club, he had written to the Heralds’ College to request to know what arms the Club might be permitted to take ; and that he had received the following answer :
“The Eton Dull Club are at liberty to take for their coat of arms, what is technically called virgatum sagulum; bearing on the dexter chief, two rods sanguine; on the sinister, two blocks proper ; in the base, three' numskulls void, on a field sable, with a bar sinister containing three plummets; for the crest, an ass-head braisant. The motto may be left to the choice of the Club."
While this was being read, looks of astonishment and doubt were exchanged by the members of the Club; but chiefly with regard to the expression of virgatum sagulum, which nobody could entirely understand, though all the members agreed that they had been long enough at Eton to learn that“ virga” meant rod.
Mr. Stultze said, he could not imagine why an ass-head brazen was chosen, in preference to any other metal.
Mr. Duntze said, that he had been to France, and that he was almost sure braisant meant the language of donkies.
The Chairman called Mr. Duntze to order for displaying too much knowledge, but congratulated the rest of the Club on their superlative qualificațions as members.
The House then proceeded to choose a motto. Mr. Sloman proposed,
“ Duller should'st thou be than the fat weed
That rots itself at ease on Lethe wharf.” Upon being asked where his motto might be found, Mr. Sloman professed himself entirely ignorant, but said that he had heard it from a fifth-form boy, who was fishing at Perch-hole; and he had some idea that Lethe was another name for Eton College.
The Chairman being asked his opinion, protested he knew no more than the dead what Lethe meant.
While the House was in hesitation upon this point, Mr. Lernill rose, and said, that as the former motto appeared to be too difficult, he could supply them with one from Gray, which they could all perfectly comprehend, and that was, “Ignorance is bliss.”
The Chairman agreed that the motto was good, but called upon Mr. Lernill for a fine, for having read Gray
Mr. Lernill protested that every Etonian had an absolute right to read Gray's Ode on Eton College ; to which the Chairman assented, but denied that it was legal that any member should remember what he read,
The fine was then paid, and the motto was received with acclamation, by all but Mr. Dolton, who denied that it held good in the case of a boy not knowing his-lesson, and getting flogged in default.
The Chairman then proceeded to read the rules of the Club, which were these : . 1. That the name of this Society be the Eton Dull
Club. 2. That no member be admitted into the Club with
out producing a certificate of his having been
flogged. 3. That any member who has been flogged three
times in one day, shall be entitled to certain immunities and privileges, and shall receive a
triple crown of birch. 4. That a room be provided looking into Barnes'
Pool. 5. That no member shall presume to appear at the
Club without a night-cap; on pain of sitting
three hours in a chair without a back. 6. That loud talking be considered disorderly, and
that any member (the Chairman excepted) who shall wake another, shall be subject to a fine of two-and-sixpence, unless he can lull him to
sleep again in five minutes. 7. That any member convicted of a pun, shall drink
salt water. 8. That all solid and all light subjects be equally
avoided, and that all questions brought before the House resemble the night-mare, in being heavy without substance.
9. That it be considered illegal to play at cricket,
or to row; and that the only legal exercise be a walk to the top of Windsor Hill and back, with a cigar in the mouth, to prevent
conyersation. 10. That no member do more than his number of
verses, for fear of spoiling the masters. 11. That a book-fund be established for the pur
chase of old verse-books. Note.-It had been the intention of the Club to buy a collection of Translations, comprising Smart's Horace, and other similar works ; but the Chairman having heard that a person of the name of Hamilton had given his sanction to this method of instruction, thinks that it will not be expedient to pursue
the plan, for fear of rendering the Dull Club a dead letter, by diminishing its stock of ignorance. The same observation applies to writing down the English word over the Latin or Greek, which is expressly forbidden. 12. That the members of the Club use no other
than Pote's edition of the Classics. , 13. That it be considered highly honourable to
eat, drink, and smoke, all day, and to sleep all
night. Note. That as it is creditable to sleep also in the day, if nature is unwilling, a narcotic draught may be taken from the “ Eton Miscellany."
Note also. That in the event of the “ Eton Mis