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" Get up, my
MRS. BROWN IN DUBLIN.
me to get up on to them cars, and one young feller says, I don't think as ever I should ’ave thought of goin' to Dubling; but
Lady, and put your pretty little foot on the step and you'll be no when Brown come in and said as he were obligated to go there after a light for me.
more weight than a bird ;" but law bless you them cars is a deal too party in the name of WALKER, as 'ad levanted to Hireland, to get When I got back there was Brown a-sayin' as he must go home at over to 'Merriker, as is easy done through bein' the next country, or once, for the feller as he'd come arter 'ad bolted back to London, so he contageous to it, as the jograffy books tells you. I says, “I
should says, “I'm off, but you needn't 'urry.” “What," I says, “Leave me like to go too.” BROWN says,
" What for ?" I says, "For my behind in a foreign land,” I says, “ Never!" He says, "'Ow about rights; for," I says, “I knows as there is property there as did ought your teapot ?" I says, “Bother the teapot.”. So he says, “Well, then, to come to me, for Mrs. POLLEN read it to me years ago in the paper, I'll go on to the train and you can foller with the luggage,” as wasn't as any one in the name of Brown would 'ear somethink about their much ; " But," he says, " don't be late, there's two 'ours good, but I advantages in Hireland;” as I never 'ad, though did ought to, for I've wants to call somewheres." I says, “All right,” for it didn't take been kep'ont of property by a fust cousin of my dear mother's, long to get ready thro' only 'avin a carpet-bag and a band-box with through bein' the daughter of a aunt by the father's side, and were
a railway rug and my cloak and umbrella. So when I was ready I consequentially own mother to 'er, as married a party in the name of sends for a cab and if the servant gal didn't bring one of them cars. CLANCEY, as were in the bricklayer line over in Dubling; and a wonderful stout man I've 'eard say, though never set eyes on one of
I says to the lady where we was lodgin' as it wouldn't suit me, but she
only said as he'd carry me to the world'send, and so I really thought he 'em myself, but ’ave 'eard 'im spoke of as a beautiful singer, as could would,
and it wasn't no use me a-sayin' nothink, for they'd put the be 'eard for miles, and eighteen stun in weight; and when they was things in, and afore I knowed where I was they'd
'oisted me up too. married danced a jig on the supper-table among the plates and dishes, I 'adn't 'ardly time to say good-bye to Mrs. O'GRADY, as were 'er and never even knocked over a glass, as is wonderful agility for name, and I'm sure as kind to me as a mother, when that beast of a any one to show without 'is shoes and stockin's, as would 'ave kep' 'orse was off with a start as pretty nigh sent me a-flyin'. me in a fidget if it ’ad been my best glass and china, as ain't easy “Set back," says the driver. I says, “I can't.” No more I couldn't, matched nowadays, and is a sight for rivets aready. $0 BROWN says " Come if you like, for I've got a pags for two; but for there ain't no depth in them cars for any one as is stout. He says,
“Set sideways,” and so I did, jest for all the world like 'orseback, "You'll ezcuse me, Mr. Brown, but it ain't nothink of the soft, aut a-clutchin' on to the side like mad.
I never did see any one drive like that boy, as they called 'im, tho' as 'andsome a teapot as ever you set eyes on, and must be worth its weight in silver, for I know as they was sixteen in family, growed up,
no more a boy than I am, as must have been past forty. He cut
among the carts and carriages as made me expect as I should 'ave my as it was made for, besides a pair of real gold earrings, as she always told legs tore off, so I turns and tries to tyek 'em up, and if the car didn't my dear mother should be 'ern, and then 'er daughter for to keep 'em give a jolt as sent me on to my back, and
there I was a-goin' thro’ the back is werry aggrawatin', and often I've wished as I could see 'er streets for all the world like MAZEPPA on his bare-back steed. face to face, as would ’ave my rights, and give 'er a bit of my mind
I screams out to the man, “ Drive slower." He says, “ Yes, my into the bargain."
lady," and took and 'it the 'orse that 'ard as made the hanimal go on If I'd knowed we'd 'ad to cross the sea for to get there I certingly like the wind. All of a suddin we turns a corner that wiolent that should have thought twice afore goin', as I never 'adn't no suspicion away flies my umbreller one way and my bandbox another; I felt as foolishnessa 'avin' of the sea between us, bein' all the same country, my 'eels in the hair, and no use a-'ollerin' to that boy, as 'ad jumped if parties didn't larf; and Brown says, “Don't expose your ignorance,
down to pick the things up, and in my struggles to get off my back as is nice manners arter seven-and-twenty years of married
life. I ketched 'old of the reins unintentional, as sent the 'orse on I don't We certingly did have a lovely passage on the steamer ; and it's know where, for he started off and run slap on to the pavement, as worry grand for to see the sun a-risin' on Dubling. Bay, as is a thing made the car tip up and sent me off, and there I was a-rollin' in the as people comes far and near to see, one of the sailors told me, as is mud jest agin a place as lots of gentlemen was a-comin' out on, as done regʻlar every mornin', and shows what steam can do. I didn't proved to be all the doctors from
London as ’ad come over for to conthink much of the railway station at Dubling; and as to them cars, sult them Hirish doctors, as is wonderful clever, and that perlite as as looks like shays tied back to back with the 'orse put in where the wanted me for to walk into a place as were their college. wheels did ought to be, I didn't relish 'em from the fust. I was worry I says, “No thank you, I ain't no company for them as is my much pleased with my breakfast, for the fresh 'errin's was delicious, betters with no bones broke," as I could see, with all their perliteness, as is only to be looked for in the Hile of Errins nat'rally, as they calls they was a-lookin' out for a job as wouldn't suit me, and to be made a it; but they're a light-hearted lot, and full of their compliments, for mummy on or somethink, and by that time my things was picked
up, I'm sure the way as they kep' A-drawin' up them cars alongside of me, and the man with the car tried to get me on to it agin, but I says, and askin' me to ride, was downright pressin', and one party says he'd
Never, I'd rather walk till I dropped," and them doctors said as I take me for nothin' as I'd be a hornyment to 'is car, as is what I calls were right, and sent for a cab like a Christian country, and would manners, though he mightn't mean it.
make me 'ave a glass of wine as 'ad all been a lunchin', and was aI'd 'eard say where Mias. CLANCEY was a-livin', though many years goin' to dine, as is what they meets for, not as I should care for to afore, as I'd 'eard my dear mother speak on, as MARY ANN as were 'er talk about them medicinal things over my meals myself, but I will name afore marriage. I should 'ave gone to find 'er the werry next day after we got there only Brown kep" on a-sayin' as it were a fool's say it was kindness itself
, as the sayin' is, a-gettin' me out of that
car feller's 'ands, as spoke jeerin', but got too late for the train for errand, so 'ad to wait till 'is back were turned, 'aving gone out to look all that, and a nice temper Brown were in, for he'd left word with arter WALKER, and then I makes up my mind for to start at once. So
a porter as he'd gone without me. I don't know what would 'ave I dresses myself werry genteel for to go and find that double-faced become on me only he thought better on it and come back, and I will MARY ANN ČLANCEY. I wasn't a-goin' to stand none of their larks, 80 say, though only three days in Dubling myself, it's a werry nice place, wouldn't trust myself in one of them cars, but thought as I'd get a and I certingly will go back some day and ferret out that Mary ANN omblibus, but law bless you they all runs one way in Dubling, and CLANCEY, for rights is rights all the world over, and that teapot I'll never comes back, for I'm sure I waited and waited down by a bridge 'ave, but never no more cars, as I felt the effects on for many a day, for one till I was ready to drop, and 'ad to tako a cab at last as took and may well call 'em outside cars, as is enough to shake you inside me where I wanted to go. As to findin' MARY ANN it was downright out, as no doubt 'ave been the death of many, though, in course, 'opeless, through only a-knowin' the street and not the number: they keeps it dark, as the sayin' is, and no wonder as the Queen give There was a good many of the name all about that street, but all orders for the PRINCE OF Wales not to trust 'isself on one, as went denied bein' my cousin, as never 'ayin' seen, in course I couldn't about shet up in a close carriage, for fear of being shot out of one of swear to. One 'ouse as I went to there was a Mrs. CLANCEY, she said them cars, as is easy done I knows to my cost, and 'ighly danger she lived a long time in London, but denied all knowledge of my aunt
ous too. pretty sharp, tho' somehow I didn't quite believe 'er, and was put out with her rudeness. So I says, “I daresay if I'd come to give MRS. CLANCEY somethin' instead of claimin' what is my own property, I should find
What Next? 'er easy enough.” Says she, “What is the property ? So I says, “Why the silver teapot and gold earrings as my aunt left me.” If An announcement of a marriage appeared in the Standard the other she didn't take and call me a old divil and says, “ Get out with your day, and wound up with this delightful bit of gentility : dirty taypot or I'll tear the old jasey of the head of yer !” I was “After the interesting scene the happy couple were received at the hospitable took aback, for if she didn't call the neighbours out and says, “Look mansion of Mrs. M. G. Blank, widow of the late Lieut.-Colonel M. G. Blank, anı at the old figger of fun as have come after her taypot," and the way as
sister of the bride, by a select society of the converted." they all laughed didn't show their manners. I was glad to get away How genteel! Not the converted tag-rag and bobtail, but the upper from 'em, and get 'ome as quick as I could, and I must say as the ten thousand—the crème de la crème--a select society of the converted Hirish is wonderful perlite and paid me them compliments, a-wantin' There was very little “humble pie "-ety at that marriage feast !
THE RED-SKINS AT SYDENHAM.
“CHINGACHGOOK," said the man who held the rife, in a low, guttural By FAMES KENIMORE JUPER.
tone, " when we agreed to total up our goings together, and I said that
we would never part, you thought you were a blazed pine in a clearing It was on the hill at Sydenham. Not Sydenham-hill; that lies of the pale-faces, and I knew that I had neither kith nor kin to speak more to the nor-nor-west, and as it might be by a sort of bowline on; but probably neither on us calkilated on living on to see the beyond Penge; but on the hill at Sydenham. For Sydenham-hill is Mingoes convarted, and the children of the Lenape strike ile, and go no more like the hill at Sydenham than the Crystal Palace itself is like into trade, with a taste for apple-sass, and chicken fixin's. When a Weston's Music Hall. The hill at Sydenham is better described as a man has been called HAWKEYB all his life too, he doesn't suppose that grassy wooded slope where a fringe of wood breaks by almost im- he'll do wuss when he opens a shootin' gallery in Montreal, than what perceptible gradations into the thicket, and where the tender greenery he did when he was trappin' martens and shooting beavers among the of the young trees unites with the deeper tints of the more distant big waters when you and yours wore the sign of the tortoise, and the headlands; once the sequestered home of market gardeners, until the Huron dogs slunk like women from the name of Uncas the son of incursions of unscrupulous directors drove the children of the soil from UNAMIS. For you to have had to take the part of Banjo in a troupe of the possessions of their fathers.
Ethiopians has been a come-down; but who can stand up agin trade, On the hill of Sydenham, then, and not on Sydenham-hill, the and the levelling of all the institutions that made us what we was all moonlight fell, lighting up the water of the big lake, where only an them years agone ?" occasional flash marked the passage of some member of the finay tribe. To this address the lean and wiry form gave no response ; while the Every part of the surrounding plain lay in the verdant livery of lean, bronzed face showed no more emotion than that of one of the nature, except where the limpid water mellowed the view of the darker carved statues round the great fountains, for the form was that of an hills which reflected their bald, scrubby heads in the mirroring wavelets Indian ; the face was set with the stoical indifference that belonged to beneath.
the children of the prairie before they struck ile. Two men stood on this hill not Sydenham-hill, but the hill at At last, with that grave and sententious dignity which nothing Sydenham-men who, though they were now habitei in the garments could deteriorate, not even the garb of negro minstrelry, CHINGACH. of ordinary life, and were both evidently of great age, still exhibited GOOK threw out his right hand in a gesture of proud defiance, and in the freedom and muscular power of their tall and airy frames, a pronounced the monosyllable “Wow.' Then, after looking around strength which years had been powerless utterly to subdue. The him, but exhibiting no sign of surprise or alarm at the discovery that taller and stouter of these men leaned thoughtfully on the remains of one of the A division of police was secretly smoking a pipe, under the a rusty and dilapidated rifle—not one of the modern breech-loading pretence of looking for something in the crown of his helmet, the inventions, but an engine of earlier date ; his fur cap was pulled down Sagamore spoke. “My pale-faced brother is very wise, and his years over his brow; his legs, encased in corduroy trousers, were stretched are many as the years of CHINGACHGOOK; for the wind of the pine wide apart, and he spoke in low and guttural tones. His companion, forests has dried up the youth of Hawkeye and the Mohican alike, whose expressive but unmoved countenance was nearly concealed by a and their skins are as the skin of the deer when it has been made into paic of large and stifily-starched collars, was habited in a white hat; a hunting shirts; yet have they kept together all these years, and have long, blue coat generally known as a swallow-tail encased his broad left the woods of the Delawares and the Great River of the children of and sinewy frame, and a pair of nankeen continuations disguised limbs UNAMIS to trade with the people of the cities. Well has it been, how. which would have been displayed to more advantage in the deer-skin ever, for CHINGACHGOOK that his people have not yet forgotten him, leggins and gaily-decorated mocassins of the Delawares, when there and that the braves can still run like moose and strike the ball when were any Delawares, or of those Mohicans of whom this very man they have time to remember their hunting grounds, and to forget claimed to be the last.
that they are the servants of the pale-faces, and put on the war paint
no more. It is before the cunning of his white brother that CHINGACH
OUR LIBRARY TABLE. GOok is silent, for the old fox shall teach the panther wisdom; and when the Mingo, DEERFOOT, who runs like a quail as squaws pelt him from We have been favoured, we presume for review, with a copy of a the wigwams, came back with wealth, why should not the stags of the brief tractate, entitled, A Remark on Strikes and Unions, by H. Delawares come also ? Thev, the hurlers of the ball, the wielders of WAMPEN, Ph. D., Professor of Mathematics. Our advice to the learned the hide-thonged Crosse! Now I have said."
gentleman is, to cut at once and for ever those heartless wags of his "No more talk won't grease a fiddler's elber,” returned the old acquaintance whom he mentions in a prefatory note that we must woodsman, in his quaint dialect. But the Directors, they're having quote in its entirety : of a palaver now over their firewater and the things they call cigars, In conversations with several of my acquaintances and friends on the matter of and — give us your hand, old Muss. La Crosse is to be the next Strikes, I was asked to write down my ideas upon the subject, especially upon that sensation, so our fortin's is made.”
of Tailors' Strikes; and that. just in my own way, regardless of how other people might take the matter. I did so, and sent the following short scribble to be inserted ; but my writing was not accepted, for reasons better known to the editors.
As, however, I was again urged to commit my ideas to writing, I do so, and present THE TRAVELLER'S RETURN.
them to my readers in this small pamphlet. But in order that every one may see
farther into the matter, the following exact copy.*
We have looked at this ingenious and eloquent composition in every
way-we have stood on our head before it, and looked between our legs To try hindustrial courses.
at it, and find those methods only add to the confusion into which a I went without misgiving
first perusal threw us. The "remark”—which is rather a long one, Where the lofty palm trees quiver
running to nearly five pages of smallish print–is almost as striking But I didn't make a living
as the preface. It commences thus:-“It is curious to see, by the disAu contrairo I marr'd my liver.
interested observer, that,” &c. Then it waxes poetical :-" The
customers themselves, the more wealthy, they of taste, they of love And so at last I'm coming back
for the beautiful, for the better and the best ; nay, they of luxury, Of no rupees the sacker;
actually caused this division-created these two classes of tailors.” Yet though my purse can show no lae,
Further, it becomes philosophic:—"There is one point in which My face displays a lacquer;
customers will have trouble to distinguish; namely, there are houses,” For such games the sun has tried
&c. Finally it sinks into poetry :-" Ill-shapen garments, which Has so smote me on the cheek,
cannot by the workman's labour alone be rendered asthetic on the That to judge me by my hide
wearer's figure." We trust these examples of the manner (about the You might take me for a Sikh.
matter there is nothing to say—ex nihilo !) of this curious pamphlet
will send many to study in its pages the wateriest CARLYLE-and-water My youth's warm friends are fled
that was ever pumped out. Oh, those wicked wags of acquaintances My friendships have miscarried ;
And some are very married ;
Answers to Correspondents.
[We cannot return rejected MSS. or Sketches unless they are accompanied That they all regard me shyly!
by a stamped and directed envelope.] The promises of youth
We should feel obliged if those correspondents who require answers Turn out but piecrust flaky,
would facilitate matters by legible signatures. We cannot waste space upon Old Friendship's hand, in truth,
hap-hazard guesses at the real meaning of monograms or dubious initials.
LARK.-Not a-laudable bird.
F. A. B. G. H. K. (Camberwell-green).-May be a man of letters, but
he is not an artist. This thought my lot shall sweeten
S. T. C. (Cambridge.)--We are not in the habit of making jokes about A fellow who's 80 tanned
creeds. Ought not to feel he's beaten.
C. M. (Cosmo-place).—You deserve to be made a fellow of the Antiquarian Society for collecting so many venerable jokes in a sheet of note
paper. Perdidi Diem ?
A PUNSTER.—Your best and only joke is your selection of a nom de
plume. The correspondent of the Times at Naples may have his faults, but H. S. H. writes to complain that the Post Office authorities made him he is certainly not to be aecused of not inaking the most of his time. pay twopence-letter rate--for a newspaper because the word "nothing In his communication which appeared on the 19th instant he stated, was written on it. What would he say to being mulcted of twopence for đpropos of the cholera, that
the worse than nothing which Nemo nt us to-day with insufficient
stamps ? “On one day last week there were in forty-eight hours one hundred and forty PLUM.–Plum-colour in your case is green, we'll engage. cases."
U, O. (Glasgow.)-Oh, you The Neapolitans are the idlest people in the world, and so, we Diogenes. We never say Di-ogenes! suppose, by the caprice of fortune they are blest with days twice as R. M. (Manchester.) - We do not understand your meaning. long as those which fall to the lot of others. What would not we
JOE.- We'll see about it. give for such long days! We can't get through half our work in the
“MARTHA."-Nobody wants you to be clever, but do try to be original; ordinary twenty-four hours. Surely the Times correspondent must or apply to the Porcupine, which seems fond of plagiarisms. hail from a neighbouring isle, where the whirligig of time” has such
A QUIZZER (Carmarthen).-We really cannot say.
BIFFIN.-Rather flat. eccentric revolutions, that
AN INDIGNANT READER.—You should do your best to understand a “ Irish watches have the power
thing before you criticise. In twenty minutes to lose half an hour.”
S.-Rbymes better, but rhythm terribly out. Or is it possible that he is an antiquarian who has been grovelling
J. C. (Werrington-street.)-The case is a bad one, but we fear your among the excavations near Naples, and discovered in some Pompeian verses won't better it. villa the identical day which the Roman Emperor lost? We should
“GENT WITH A COLD IN HIS HEAD" should try to get a few original
The joke he sends is so venerable that it recommend LORDS GROSVENOR, ELCHO, AND Co., to apply to this ideas there to keep the cold out. ingenious writer, and learn the secret by which the existence of the may be the identic (c)old in the head he refers to.
Declined with thanks :-W. R., Ringwood; H. H. F.; W. H., Dublin ; Dey might be thus prolonged.
Vox e Deserto ; L. A. P.; C. J. W., Angel.court (?);
J. W. S.; A Constant
Subscriber, Sydenham; Promoter; G. D., Glasgow; R. W., Belfast ; E. P., “ Know, all. Men, by these Presents."
Stoneclough ; J. W., Glasgow ; R. W., Carey-street; J. L. L. F., Wars
ham; G. R., Camden-square; J. B. D., Lesmahagow; Quæstor; Ć. J.C., We see that the Sultan has presented a handsome gold and Clonghton ; 'G. W.; G. w., Eynesford; S. G., Liverpool; Undergraduate; diamond snuff-box to the enterprising lessee of the Italian Opera, G. M. T., Taunton; R. C. C.; G. P., Star-street; R. E. N.; F. T. M., Covent Garden. We are happy to note this very deserved recognition Leicester ; F. B., Formby. of mana-Gye-rial ability.
• This appears to have slipt out of our copy. What follows on the preface is the
pamphlet itself, discussing the matter, previously to entering on which the ProCURRENT LITERATURE. -“ Books in the running brooks."
fessor promises an exaet copy of his "scribble."