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Claud. Nay, but his jesting spirit, which is now crepe into a lute-string, and now govern'd by stops ---
Pedro. Indeed that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude he is in love.
Claud. Nay, but I know who loves him.
Pedro. That would I know too: I warrant one that knows him not.
Claud. Yes, and his ill conditions, and in despight of all, dies for him.
Pedro. She shall be bury'd with her s 'heels' upwards. *
Bene. Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ach. Old Sig nior, walk aside with me, I have study'd eight or nine wise words to speak to you which these hobby-horses must
[Exeunt Bene. and Leon. Pedro. For my life, to break with him about Beatrice.
Claud. 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this play'd their parts with Beatrice, and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet.
S. CE N E III.
Enter Don John. John. My Lord and brother, God save you. Pedro. Good den, brother. John. If your leisure serv'd, I would speak with you. Pedro. In private ?
John. If it please you ; yet Count Claudio may hear, for what I would speak of concerns him.
Pedro. What's the matter?
Claud. If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.
John. (a) They should be buried with their heels upwards was a prover; bial saying heretofore in use and applied to those who had met with Any piece of fortune very suprizing and very rare, 5
face old edit, Theob, emend,
John. You may think I love you not, let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifeft; for my brother, I think he holds you well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage ; surely, suit ill spent, and labour ill bestow’d.
Pedro. Why, what's the matter?
John. I came hither to tell you, and circumstances shorten’d, (for she hath been too long a talking of) the Lady is dißoyal.
Claud. Who? Hero?
John. Even she, Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero.
John. The word is too good to paint out her wickedness; I could say she were worse ; think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it: wonder not 'till further warrant; go but with me to-night, you shall fee her chamberwindow enter'd, even the night before her wedding-day; if you love her then, to-morrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour to change your mind.
Claud. May this be so?
John. If you dare not trust that you see, confess not that you know, if you will follow me, I will shew you enough; and when you have seen more and heard more, proceed accordingly.
Claud. If I see any thing to-night why I should not marry her to-morrow; in the congregation where I should wed, there will I shame her.
Pedro. And as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her.
John. I will disparage her no farther, 'till you are my witnesses ; bear it coldly but 'till night, and let the issue Thew it felf.
Pedro. O day untowardly turned !
John. Oplague right well prevented!
Enter Dogberry and Verges, with the watch. Dogb. ARE you good men and true?
Verg. Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body and soul.
Dogb. Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the Prince's Watch.
Verg. Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.
Dogb. First, who think you the most disartless man to be constable?
I Watch. Hugh Oatecake, Sir, or George Seacole ; for they can write and read.
Dogb. Come hither, neighbour Seacole : God hath blest you with a good name; to be a well favour'd man is the gift of fortune, but to write and read comes by nature.
2 Watch. Both which, master constable --
Dogb. You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favour, Sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, let
when there is no need of such vanity : you are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the Watch, therefore bear you the lanthorn: this is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men, you are to bid any man stand in the Prince's name.
2 Watch. How if he will not stand?
go, and presently call the rest of the Watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.
Verg. If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the Prince's subjects.
Dogb. True, and they are to meddle with none but the Prince's subjects: you shall also make no noise in the streets; for, for the Watch to babble and talk, is most tolerable, and not to be endur'd.
2 Watch. We will rather Neep than talk ; we know what belongs to a Watch.
Dogb. Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet Watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend; only have a care that your bills be not stolen: well, you are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid them that are drunk get them to bed.
2 Watch. How if they will not ?
Dogb. Why then let them alone 'till they are fober if they make you not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them for.
2 Watch. Well, Sir.
Dogb. If you meet a thief, you may suspect him by virtue of your office to be no true man; and for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty.
2 Watch. If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him ?
Dogb. Truly by your office you may; but I think they that touch pitch will be defild: the most peaceable way for you,
do take a thief, is to let him shew himfelf'what he is, and steal out of your company.
Verg. You have been always call'd a merciful man, partner.
Dogb. Truly I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.
Verg: If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her still it.
2 Watch. How if the nurse be asleep, and will not hear us?
Dogb. Why then depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying: for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when he bleats.
Verg. 'Tis very true.
ere to present the Prince's own perfon ; if you meet the Prince in the night, you may stay him.
Verg. Nay, birlady, that I think he cannot.
Dogb. Five shillings to one on't with any man that knows the Statues, he may stay him; marry, not without the Prince be willing: for indeed the Watch ought to offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a man against his will.
Verg. Birlady, I think it be fo.
Dogb. Ha, ha, ha! well, masters, good night ; an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me; keep your fellows' counsel and your own, and good night; come, neighbour.
2 Watch. Well, masters, we hear our charge ; let us go sit here upon the church-bench 'till two, and then all
Dogb. One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you, watch about Signior Leonato's door, for the wedding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil to-night; adieu ; be vigilant, I beseech you. [Exeunt Dogb. and Verg.
S CE N E V.
Enter Borachio and Conrade.
Bora. Mass, and my elbow itch’d, I thought there would a scab follow:
Conr. I will owe thee an answer for that, and now forward with thy tale.
Bora. Stand thee close then under this pent-house, for it drizles rain, and, I will, like a true drunkard, utter all
Watch. Some treason, masters; yet stand close.
Bora. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats,