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facture. The silk spun in this coun “ thick as the motes that people the try is by no means so good ; whether sun-beams." The proprietor was dunit be the case that the silk-worm does ned with petitions, and the watch-dog, not keep its health in our northern la- which was chained at the outer gate, titudes, or not, I have too little confi- had actually worn down his teeth to dence in my own opinion to say: but the stumps in biting the intruders. No this I can tell from experience, that further service could thus be expected we are more apt to be mistaken as to from him. Long did the French cook the animal itself, thereby rendering all ponder, during his evening, reveries our labour fruitless, and our efforts a- over his tumbler by the kitchen fire, bortive. The writer of this article what could be done in the present unbought several papers full of the em- fortunate dilemma. For a long series bryos of the silk-worm, but after wait- of evenings he beat his brains to no ing in eager expectation for a twelve- purpose; at length, after a long hour's month, to his utter consternation and silence, he one night started up, and astonishment, they turned out to be almost severed, with his heel, the butnought else but common maggots. ler's gouty toe from his body, exclaim
The poor-rates are a great bore in ing—“Eureka! I have found it !!" this country, but it is all owing to the He set about preparing a most helexcess of population, and for this I lish decoction, which he seasoned with have before suggested a remedy. If Cayenne pepper, (the Capsicum An
the overplus of the population were to be nuum of Linnæus), until it was enough, # called together, and some able speaker, without a metaphor, to set the sto1 say one of the advocates of the Scot- mach on fire, and cause an “ interna
tish bar, selected to address them, and conflagratio.” lay down to them in a placid and pre Next morning he set about putting cise manner, the hardships they entail his project in practice, and the first on society, and the impropriety of their beggar that approached he beckoned ever having been born, unquestionably him
to come in, shut the kitchen door, then the overplus of population, pro- and having filled out a bumper, bade vided they consisted of well-educated, him whip it off, and be gone, lest his decent, and sensible people, could have master should appear. The mendino objection either to be transported be- cant, glad of the treat, turned up his yond seas, or dispatched in as gentle a little finger in a twinkling, and retreatmanner as could be devised. Until a ed as fast as his legs could carry him, great national meeting is called for the but not far; for his eyes threatened to purpose, we must be content to put up start from his head, and the saliva ran with many evils. Mendicity is not the from the corners of his mouth, after least of these, and to the public in ge- the fashion of a waterspout. Thus was neral we recommend the following plan, one dispatched; he came no more. which is as yet in private circulation, Again-again-a hundred times was and does not seem to have reached the the project tried, and uniformly with ear of the Society for the Suppression the same success; till, in less than of Begging. It originated from the in- three weeks, not one beggar was to be
genuity of one of that useful class of seen in that country side. The French jould the community, a French cook; but cook is, we understand, at present put
as he had been for several years do- ting in for a patent, which we have no mesticated in this country, no other doubt will be granted. realm can presume to come in for a By this the public may observe, that share of the honour, which is purely the way to get quit of beggars is by the
national. It is said that M. Say, Ben- immediate use of the hellish decocmenjamin Constant, and Carnot, claim it tion; and not by following the vain, for France; but this is only a report. void, visionary, childish, and nugatory
The house, in which this ingenious schemes, at present inculcated by the French cook served, was infested from writers on political economy. morning to night, and the court-yard
M. O. literally swarming with beggars, as
July 10th.-Settled with Bullock and L.3: 15: 114. Very bad concern. Badcock for the “ Poems by a Military Cost me three month's severe compoAmateur. Balance in my favour of sition. Cannot fathom what the read
ing public of this age would swallow: off farther connection with me, swearWhat I write most carelessly they re- ing there was foul play. Gained by lish best. Hope I shall succeed bet- my acquaintance with him L.2:10: 3. ter with my
“ Treatise on the educa. Got drunk. tion of young ladies.”
14th.-Headache in the morning. July 12th. Went to Newmarket. Wrote sonnet to Despondency-ditto Beat three to one, at starting, on the to Despair. Got up and shaved, felt blue body, and buff sleeves; fairly taken better, -went out at twelve to a match in, as he came last; or rather never at cricket-returned successfula dincame in, being distanced. Gulled out ner and drink at stake-dressed at of a guinea and half, and got very an- five excellent claret-got drunk. Regry: Run, after the race, a foot match turned home, and read Rogers' Huwith Lieutenant Finch; shammed man Life did not much like it too lameness at first, and then beat him wirewove. Took up Story of Rimini hollow; running the last fifty yards thought more highly of it-last book backwards. Out of pocket by this ex- admirable. cursion 10s. 6d.
15th.--Dreamt all night of Cockaigne 13th. Played three hours at bile terrible jargon these fellows speak. liards with a knowing one, who took Felt squeamish; but after dispatching mein. Proposed whist, at which I am a bottle of soda water, sate down and a dead hand, and fairly came paddy composed the following letter and love over him. Rose in a passion, and broke song.
(This letter is private, so you must not print it.) Sir,-As I am not at all pleased with the strain of sentiment and affectation, that disfigures and runs through the love poems of Burns and Byron, I have endeavoured to hit on a key somewhat nearer to the well-head of the human heart, and somewhat truer to the feelings of domestic nature, mutual endearment, and connubial felicity. Descriptions of simple life, and rural nature, are very well to those who have had an opportunity of seeing them; but to me, and the multitudes like me, who live in the great city, it is but just that the writers of the present age should adopt something that would come home to our feelings and businesses. A friend of mine, that came off a far journey last week, very jauntily told me, that cabbages grew on fir trees, that cows can eat potatoes, and that they feed sheep on cyder in Kent; but I was not such a spoonie as to believe him. If the accompanying poem be adapted to your mis cellany, please insert it, and believe me,
Your most obliged Friend,
Wm. Tims GOODENOUGH, Oh! lovely Polly Savage,
And when at five o'clock, my love, Oh! charming Polly Savage,
We sit us down to dine, Your eye beats Day and Martin,
How I will toast your darling health, Your cheek is like red cabbage.
In draughts of currant vine.
Oh! lovely Polly Savage, &cę
Oh then our little son shall be
As wanton as a spaniel,
Him that we mean to cristen'd be,
Oh ! lovely Polly Savage, &c,
And if we have a little girl, But, Polly dear, my love for you
I'm sure you wont be sorry Is forty-five times higher.
To hear me call the pretty elf, Oh! lovely Polly Savage, &c. Euphemiar Helen Laurar, We'll take a shop in Chicken Lane,
Oh ! lovely Polly Savage, &c. And I will stand prepared,
Then fare-thee-well a little space, To sell fat bacon by the pound,
My heart can never falter,
And next time when I see your face,
Oh ! lovely Polly Savage, &c.
18th. Wet morningcould not ven- Think the Reverend Gentleman shews ture to stir abroad, -just shews us how pluck; but do not remember in all his much men alter. A few years ago, pictures of human life, ever observing when my country demanded my ser the portrait of one butcher introduced. vices, I braved the dangers of every Pondered whether I might venture to clime, the torrid heats of a Spanish remedy this defect, and send him my summer, and the damp atmosphere of delineation to be hung up in the Galthe United States, Dare say, however, lery of Portraits, in the next edition of that I could do so again, if occasion re his admirable work. quired. Took a chair by the fire, and Wrote what follows in twenty miread over again Crabbe's Borough. nutes, and copied it verbatim as under.
THE SOMNAMBULATORY BUTCHER.-An Episode. Reflections,-birth,--parentage,_boyish tricks,-education, change of dress,-apprenticeship,
bladders and Dr Lavement,“bad habits,--ditto cured by his mother.com caution, and moral.
Men's legs, if man may trust the common talk,
James Neckum Theodore Emmanuel Reid,
And homewards wended, fast and nothing loth,
The boy grew strong; the master of the school
His education finish’d, choice he made
But he had failings, as I said before, So, duly as his nose began to snore, His legs ran with his body to the door ; Aud forth he used to roam, with sidelong neck, To-as the Scots folks term it-lift the sneck. All in his shirt and woollen cap he strayed, Silent, though dreaming; cold, but undismay’d. The moon was shining ʼmid the depth of Heaven, And from the chill north, fleecy clouds were driven Athwart its silver aspect, till they grew Dimmer, and dimmer, in the distant blue; The trees were rustling loud; nor moon, nor trees, Nor cloud, could on his dreaming phrenzy șieze, But, walking with closed eyes across the street, He lifted handsomely his unshod feet, Till nought, at length, his wandering ankles propt, And head and heels into the pond he dropt.
Then rose the loud lament; the earth and skies
Oh ! reader, learn this truth most firm and sure,
Night after night, if rainy, cold, or fair,
'Twas a hard case, but Theodore's mother quick
Save, save a wandering sinner, or he's drown'd!!!"
He rose no more, as I'm inform’d, in sleep,
So all my readers from this tale may learn,
-Read last night a volume of the panse of the Forth, with its multitude Heart of Mid-Lothian. The author's of gliding sails ;-and, far in the north, name as well known to me, as if he had the pale green, or the remoter hazy, put it on the title page. “None but blue mountains of Fife and Stirlinghimself can be his parallel.” Well shire. At my feet, the Palace of Holymay we say, as my friend Ovid said of rood, the habitation of kings, the manTelamon Ajax,
sion of the Stuarts, with the Gothic “None but himself, himself could over
ruins of its chapel, its grey towers, and throw."
its desolate garden, spotted with dark
green shrubs, and melancholy flowers ; This book knits my heart more firm- and, stretching around me in emely than ever to the “ land of the moun- rald smoothness, the far extending park, tain and the flood.” When sitting in with its well-trodden pathway. Often my chamber, I am transported there in have I, returning half cut, from dia twinkling; the scenes rise before me ning at the mess of my fellow-soldiers in all their native majesty,—the Cas- at Piershill, felt an inward trepidation tle, the High Street, and the Porteous in entering that park, and instinctivemob. Am most pleased with the scenes ly grasped my sword, when I thought at Davie Deans's cottage, Leonard's on the ghost of Ailie Mashat, who is Hill, and Arthur's Seat. Many a time said, yet to have I, reclining among the ruins of St Anthony's Chapel, surveyed, in ec
66 Visit the glimpses of the moon, static admiration, the magnificent pros
Making night hideous.” pect around ;-the blue and castellated N. B.-A good subject for poetry; majesty of Dunedin, “throwing its to remember it the first idle hour. white arms to the sea ;"—the variegated succession of woodlands, and pas (After a few pages,-commemorature, and green fields ;-the broad ex tive of a battie between two of the