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MRS. BROWN IN AMERICA

I 'adn't got werry far down that 'ill, as were d woright glass for to

walk on, when I 'eard & shoutin' behind me, I didn't dare to turn THE Boys.

round for fear of slippin' but'urried on, when there come such a shoutin' Talk of devils in garnet as the sayin' is, it's only another word for as made me turn round a liitle, and if I didn't see dozens of them boys boys, as is a nuisance all over the world as is their natures to, but a-layin' on their stomicks on them sledges a cumin' slap at me full 'Merrykin boys is enough for to make you wish as they'd never come pelt. into the world.

I tried for to get out of the way, but law bless you the middle of the I'm sure the life as the boys 'as led me since I've been 'ere nobody road was the only spot as I could keep my footin' on, so I tried for to wouldn't credit but them as see it, for as to tellin' about 'em it ain't run a little bit but 'adn't no time for to do nothink, for all them boys no use, for even Brown, he only laughs at me, a-sayin' as boys will be and their sledges was up with me in no time and seemed all to come boys. I says, “ Let 'em be with all my 'eart," and a nice trouble, too, behind me at once. even in infancy as will seldom cut their eye-teeth without conwulsions, I was a-goin' to turn round and face 'em, but was swep' clean off and ’ave knowed 'em myself at death's door in being weaned, as shows my legs, and fell back'ards among all them boys, and away we all slid tomper from the cradle, for I've seen my Joe would pull a cup of tea together ever so far and then upset. scaldin' 'ot all over you in a instant the day as he were short-coated, Parties give a rush at me and dragged me up and sets me on my and only six months, and there was poor Mrs. 'Arper as took a pride lege, and one says, " You're a nice old blather 'ead to go and set on in her fust, and would make 'im wear caps with a noble cockade, as boye like that as might have smashed 'em with your weight." he'd tear to ribbins in no time, and dribble himself through and I

says “Where's my umbreller ?" through with a silver coral as 'is god-pa give 'im, and got a topper with They says “ You've been and dropped it.” it over 'je led 'ead thro' not a-knowin' Wow to 'old a child, and lost I says " It was knocked out of my 'and by them boys and I'll 'ave 'is temour and throwed 'im on to the sofy that wiolent as might ’ave it;” but law bless you there ain't no law nor order to be 'ad, for when broke 'is neck, and no logs neither, for he turned out a bad lot, and run I told the perlice, as come up, he only says “ You must go about with off to Australier, and is livin', I'm told, in style, as 'll be sure to come your eye-teeth skinned here or you'll lose your 'ead.” 'ome to 'im in the long run, no doubt.

I was that shook with the fali, as if it 'ad been a Christshun country As I was a-sayin', of all the limbs of Sattin its 'Merrykin boys as 'll I'd 'ave gone 'ome in a cab, but there ain't sich a thing to be had, haim at you with a loaded pistol and then turn round and say as it were and when I come to look for it if my redicule wasn't gone, so I couldn't only the bow on the crown of my bonnet as they wanted to see if they get across the ferry thro' not 'avin' the money, as 'adn't no more about could cut off sharp over the pailins' and me a-standin' on the steps a- me, except what I carries about, sewed up where is best know'd to waitin' for MRS. SKIDMORB, and made sure as I was dead, with the myself. bullet stuck fast in the back-door, as I'd shet behind me through only I'm sure the work as I 'ad to get back 'ome, as only was managed a-puttin' my nose out for to see if it was that cold as I might require by 'oldin' on to the railin'e nearly all the way, for bless you, the another shawl at night a-comin' 'ome.

Merrykins won't sweep away their snow from before their doors, as It give me that dreadful shock as go out I could not, and when MRS. freezes over and over agin, and all I wishes is as them as don't sweep SKIDMORE went round 'erself to complain to their mother as is a quaker it up was the ones to fall, as never 'appens to them as it would serve she called me a old flat to wear sich a thing on my 'ead, as is a right, but only to innocent parties as is took unawares. lovely bonnet, and did used to be all the rage when I fust married, as But what aggrawated me with them boys was when I was a-walkin' I've 'ad it turned and altered thro' 'avin' been one as bent down in up that 'ill, if they didn't take and foller me, a-'ootin' at me, and usin' front like what Queen Caroline wore the day as she went down to be such 'orrid'low-lived expressions about me, and 'ad to crawl ome werry crowned at Westminster with the church door shet in 'er face, as she much shook, as was at fust afeard as my back was broke, the same as took it so to 'eart, and never 'eld up 'er 'ead again, tho' they do say 'appened to poor MR. Walsh, as lived in Pitfield-street, Oxton, as did e-takin' of laud'num on the top of magnesis were 'er 'ead, and 'er used once to keep a coal and 'tater shed in 'Oxton Old Town, and went name struck out of the prayer book as was werry wrong, for if a bad to see 'is married daughter Boxin'-day, and stepped on a slide and fell woman she wanted their prayers all the more, not as the 'Merrykins that wiolent agin a man as 'ad a basket of crockery op 'is 'ead as sent knowed anythink about 'er no more than if she 'adn't never lived, and 'im a-flyin' into a baker's winder, as were plate glass, as 'ad made a in course thro' not 'avin' no Kings and Queens is that ignorant, fortune with "down agin to even money," as I never could make out'o but I'm sure any one as is King over them did ought to 'ave a loaded seven pence can be called even money, and 'ad to pay for the crockery cannon constant ready every instant, for if he didn't blow them to as wasn't no great walue tho'a 'eavy load on the ead, and sp’ilt 'is atomies they would 'im pretty quick, as was obligated to be shot down pleasurin' with a lump on 'is back-bone spine as big as your fist, and by 'undreds, as Mrs. SK DDMORE's own aunt see 'em 'erself last July never the man to walk as he did before, and never set up straight thro' four years from 'er bedroom winder as wanted to burn all the little want of strength; but Mrs. SKIDMORE, she put me on a plaister as black babies as is orphins in their beds.

seemed to draw out the pain, tho' bruised frightful, as was no doubt But as I were a-sayin' the boys is that awful in their behaviours as thro' me a-comin' in that wiolent collusion with them boys agin the it ain't no wonder they grows up what they are, as goes to Sunday kerb-stone, as ketched me that sharp agin my 'ip, tho' I didn't feel it Schools werry reg'lar but never learns their duties, but only a-larkin' at fust as you often don't when that benumbed, tho' a frightful bruise, about, and the gals dressed up like as if they was a-goin' to dance on but was more of a oyesore than any real 'arm done, but all I've got to the tight-rope.

say is that 'Merrykin boys is that awdacious as will set their fathers at Since the frost ’ave set in I do think as it ’ave froze op all them defiance open, and pay no more attention to a mother than if the wind boys' manners, as goes on like downright lunatics, a-slidin' all over was to blow, as is what I can't stand ; but law, Joe's wife, she seems to the pavement, and wuss than that 'ave got little sledges as they drives like to see 'er eldest

that cheeky, as she bust out a-larfin' at him when all along without never a-carin' a bit where they're a-goin' to, or he says, “Ain't grandmother a big lump of a Britisher," as I didn't who's in front on 'em, as 'appened to me the day aforo yesterday, consider manners, but never said a word a-knowin' as she wouldn't like when freezin' was a fool to what the cold was, and me got to go across it, tho' I should are corrected one of ’Liza's boys, but then it makes the ferry to New York, as is full of ice, the boats a-bumpin' and 2- all the difference bein' my own daughter, as in course never can be a crunchin' thro' it that wiolent as you can't ’ardly keep your legs. son's wife, but fully expects as that boy will turn ont a limb, like the

Well, the ferry as I had to cross for to get over to New York is rest, some day, when least expected. down a steep 'ill, as were that froze as you might slip from the top to the bottom and never feel your feet. I ain't one as is much give to sliding, for when a gal I shall never

In the Paper. forget the crack as I come on the back of my 'ead a-slidin' along the

The latest novelty in New York, so says an American paper, has gutter in front of our 'ouse, as wasn't nothink to the bangin' as my been a paper ball.” It is stated that the quaintest, most coquettish, dear mother give me with the hearth broom for playin' in the streets, and magnificent toilettes were composed of paper, which admirably as were a thing as she never allowed, and quite right too, for I'm sure imitated the materials generally used in making up an expensive costhem 'Merrykin boys and gals is downright rained by that werry tume. We cannot see that this is a great novelty for the land of thing. Well, I was a-goin' down that 'ill to the ferry, a-takin' on it worry by means of paper made “ to imitate materials," generally known AB

greenbacke. For years past, people had been not only clothed, but fed gently, and ’ard work for to keep my feet, tho' I 'ad on a pair of over

“coin' shoes, as was part injy rubber and part felt, with the bottoms roughed the same as 'orses, and a-usin' my umbreller for a walking stick, as the brass ferrel on stuck in the snow and 'eld me up.

Spicy. When I was at the top of that 'ill I see a lot of boys with their sledges tinge

of his irreproachable whiskers, that he actually walks gingerby.

TIFTOFF-& swell and no mistake. Bo identifies himself with the e-waitin' about, I didn't take much notice on 'em for them sledges is foolish bits of things, tho' dangerous, for them boys will lay down 'em, and then slip along 'ead fust.

NOT FOR LAMBKTH.-The New Cut-Filet de Cheval.

SOMETHING LIKE A TRADES' UNION. The Union that can do that would be something like a Trades'

Union, and there's a many now of my opinion who wish hearty that the By A REAL WORKING MAN.

money that's been subscribed for to keep so many of us on strike and I CAN remember, in my time, when every body was advised by street to pay delegates and such, had been spent in stores so that we might boys and such to "Flare up and join the Union,” and little did I ever meet the times when our wage was low. This was my talk to the expect to see the day when that advice would be in a manner took; missis last Saturday as we was going to the “People's Market," where and all them that belong to what of late years it's been the fashion to we live, down Whitechapel way, and she says, “ You're right enough, call “the people” and the "working classes," would have “fared” the same as your words is proved true by this very place, which is all and joined it. There's been a goodish deal made one way or another under one head, the same as it's under one roof, for where there's such out of us working men by them that have called us " the people," a union of the butchers and the grocers and the cheesemongers and and spoke to us as the "people,” and in general jawed at us off the butter trades as brings food to many that didn't know where to of platforms as tho “people," and have took the liberty to tell us look for it; which, in my opinion,” she says, "legs at six-and-a-half, how we ought to mind our own business, without putting of us in the and shoulders at six, with good beef marrow as is better than any way of having any particular business to mind. Noble lords as take butter, at sevenpence, and all sorts of comfortable pieces cut fair for a up with philanthropy and wants to get into Parliament have come and few ha'pence, is what the working man requires. “Well," I says, talked to us as if we was great babies, and read easy po'try to us, and “but who's at the expense it all ? Where's the head-quarters of showed us magic lanterns, and made genteel jokes for us to laugh at; l the charity ?" "Charity!” she says; "it ain't no charity. It's a

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and parsons have now and again took us in hand, and men of the people private business done at a good profit and nobody don't feel no as have feathered their nests pretty tidy out of half-a-crown and a blue dependence, which is the thing the working man don't ought to want.” check pocket-handkercher that they started in life with, has told us And I says, “Right you are, old woman, as usual.” pretty sharp of our duties, and wanted to know why we couldn't all of us feather our nests similar. And then at last comes the delegates and the representatives and the regular organizers as nobody wouldn't

Not Nice to & Shade. have thought could set the Thames a-fire, as the saying is, but which has yet managed to set us a-flaring up and a-joining of the Union to

TAX accession of MR. DISRABLI to the premiership is so remarkable such a tune as the burning of Rome with the Emperor a-fiddling an event that it deserves more than a passing notice. It appears to us wasn't nothing to. The worst sort of this flaring is, that when it's to be an excellent opportunity for the adoption of new colours by the gone out it leaves us with empty fireplaces, and we ain't

got much to Conservative party. It would be paying a graceful compliment to the fall back upon except the ashes and the cold hearth where we see our noble ex-premier if the old cry of " true blue" were supersoded by a wives and little ones setting with hungry bellies and no shoes on their new one-Darby and Jaune. feet. This is what it seems to be coming to with most of us working class as have been talked to as “the people," just as if there wasn't

Done into Latin. any other people, and when all comes to all, even if we can ruin the masters, or send them abroad to find these other people, and there's no

A YOUNG GENTLEMAN of our acquaintance, being asked to give a more work to do, the funds wouldn't hold out while we learnt fresh classical rendering of “Paddle your own canoe," promptly replied trades. It does seem to me that what's wanted is to put us in the way

Suum Caique !" of getting work at reasonable wages, and when times is bad putting us in the way of buying things at a reasonable price.

ON THE Square.—The First Life Guards—Fists.

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JUVENAL JUNIOR.

FROM OUR STALL.
DRAMATIC CRITICISM.

The novel of Martin Chuzzlewit is too long and involved for dramatic

treatment. Many of the characters diverge from the main road at an Say, can no effort prop the falling Stage;

early stage of the story and return to it only toward the end. The No kindly knife the Dramas' pangs assuage ?

book is full of episodes ; a play that should follow all the intricacies of Mine be the task, if not to wield the blade,

its plot and allow enough dialogue for anything like elaboration of its To scourge the men who should be first to aid.

characters would require a whole evening for representation. At the Oh, critics, critics! who on first nights sit

Olympic we have a somewhat shadowy version of DICKENS ; a recent And frame your judgments by a noisy pit

reading of the tale is absolutely requisite for the full comprehension of Who take the verdict of a "paper" cram

the drama. The dialogue of the original is preserved as far as possible Whose praises are so faint they cannot damn

in this adaptation and gives it peculiar liveliness. With the acting of Who dare not print the dulness you confess

Martin Chuzzlewit we have little fault to find. MR. VINCENT must Sneer in the lobby-simper in the press :

contrive to carry himself twenty-five years back in the article of dress; To you I call-- but since my call is vain,

Mr. ASHLEY must wash the stains of gunpowder from his visage, unless I raise the lash, I trust, for wholesome pain.

he wishes to give evidence against some Fenian who has fired five shots Oh, scholar-I had nearly said, indeed,

at him from a revolver, in the neighbourhood of Wych-street; and the

lady who plays Mercy Pecksniff must show less of a remarkably hand. “Oh, only scholar" of the Times—take heed !

some bust. Mr. Clarke is a lovely

Sarah Gamp, snuffy-senilemand The critic must not doze, though Homer nod;

utterly heartlees. MR. HORACE WIGAN represents admirably the Yon bear the laurel, but you bear the rod. That tender-hearted surgeon is a bane,

passive side of Jonas Chuzzlewit's brutal nature, but he scarcely realizes Who spares the cure, because he spares the pain!

the active portion of it; he dresses the part splendidly. MR. ADDISON

is not sufficiently tall for the Peck sniff designed by Phiz; this, how. What time a minor “critic" stole the pen

ever, is a misfortune and not a fault-80 that MR. ADDIson may plume And won the laughter of all thinking men, You had done well admonishment to take

himself on playing the part as well as any actor of the same height

possibly could play it. MR. SOUTAR makes up carefully for Mark You, whom not nine times nine Tom TAYLORS make.

Tapley, and plays as characteristically as the text of his part allows. Borrow some gall from minor wits, to mend

M188 Lovisa Moore is a fascinating Mary Graham, in spite of the The pen wbich never hurts or foe or friend !

hideous bonnet which archæology compels her to wear. (What guys Teach us the Times's criticism survives

the women must have been in 1843! Thank goodness we are not old For dramas as for Spiritual Wives !

enough to recollect the costume of that period). Musa FARREN AS Satire, of course, should only wield the scourge,

Young Bailey is worth going ever 80 many miles to see; the character For giving bays excuses she must urge ;

exactly suits her, and she plays it with an enormous amount of spirit. And yet the Daily News she'll praise, forsooth,

Some very pretty scenes have been painted for this drama.
Because it says what it believes the truth;

At Drury Lane a piece by COLONEL A. B. RICHARDS has been brought
And she will scorn no critic, so that he

forward. MESSRS IRVING AND MCINTYRE do all in their power to make Tell all the little truth that he can see.

it go. The piece is evidently written by a gentleman of refined and

even poetic mind, but the melodramatic tendency of ita plot renders it The Standard's critic on occasion shows

unfit for any prominent place in the Drury Lane bills; it has a transHow far much more than what he tells he knows ;

pontine smack about it. Chained by the custom of the critic tribe,

We were happy to see a full house on the occasion of the May benefit He glimpses at the faults he should describe ;

at Drury Lane the other morning; and we must congratulate the Too ready ever on the generous side

promoters of the entertainment on the result of their praiseworthy To laud the merits, the defects to hide.

exertions.
Would he but speak, more justice would he do
The stage—and his own reputation, too.
The Telegraph adopts the general tone-

Answers to Correspondents.
Has seldom an opinion of its own;
Declares the door against that piece is slammed,

[We can take no notice of communications with elegible signatures of Which on the first night beyond doubt is damned;

monograma. Correspondents will do well to send their real names and And prophesies a run- or more or less

addresses as guarantees. We cannot undertake to return unaccepted M88. For that which boasts legitimate success;

or Sketches, unless they are accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope ;

but we cannot enter into correspondence regarding them, nor do we hola Winds in long-winded sentences about,

ourselves responsible for loss.]
Which at the close would leave you in a doubt,
Save that like PLAGIARY'N."good-Datured friend,"

ALBPH.-It is rather late in the day to find fault with the writings of

Francis Quarles.
Their kind intentions to discomfort tend.

Pax.--Peace!
Say, shall we pass-or is't to stoop too far ?-

A. B. C. (Post-Office) bas the coolness to tell us that “the following
To note the critic of the Morning Star !

occurred to him this morning" - the

following being the ancient definition

of “Matter-Dever mind," and "Mind-- no matter.
The Morning Star where erst an angry pen

PECKHAN RYE.-The “Saunterer" is much obliged to you.
Spluttered its comments upon rising men.

“ LEAP-FROG IN THE CIVIL SERVICE” would, we think, hardly be Who has ascended to the judge's throne,

permitted under "KING STORK(8).” Scarcely less shrewish, surely more unknown?

CORA L.-- Lines not suitable. Fun's "mowing" is more nearly related His latest notices proclaim at once

to mopping

than to cropping. The private partizan or public dunce !

PBTER PIPER writes us an abusive letter and asks, "Will you have the Who finds so much to praise in Daddy Gray,

pluck to publish this ?" To which we answer “Yes, if he will have the Could scarcely note the minor sins of Play,

pluck to come and acknowledge writing it." Unless some petty motives undefined

A FRBB-TRADER (New-square).--The epigram is too personal, the lines Disturbed the muddle which he calls a mind.

not good enough.

C. J. G. (Dublin).- The title of the cartoon you mean was simply Farewoll! oh, critics, till another day,

« Recreation."
Meantime, like cricketers, just mind your play ;

P. L. C. (Liverpool).-We are much obliged.
Condemn the bad with energy outright,

K. (Erskine-street, Liverpool).—Thanks.

ZERO is left out in the cold.
Praise not for favour-Dor condemn for spite;

Mons. PARTURIENB.— Your song is most ridiculus mus-ic, but not quite
And so, percbance, your JUVENAL may nay,

suitable. Next time you strike the lyre we'll hope it will prove a hit. “Thank heaven! I've read a criticism to-day!”

Declined with thanks:-A. H., Maida Valo; Lutterworth ; L. B. P.; E. H., Dublin ; Brooks; J. P., Old Broad-street; D. J. F.; H. B. R.,

Bishop Stortford ; Leonard; I. R. 2. A. B.; B. C., Wallingford; P. V., A Caution.

Macclesfield; A. W. O., Cambridge; W. P., Fulham; Truro; Cantab, Be careful you are not misunderstood when in conversation at the J. B., Jun.; R. B., Torquay; G. G. F., Liverpool; J.C. R., Camden

Hammersmith; A Fact; A Constant Reader; J. H. N., Houghton; dinner-table. Young SNAPSHOT has just lost a very "warm corner in his AUNT CAROLINE'S will, simply because she fancied an insult in a

square ; J. B. T., Brighton ; S. G., Liverpool ; Tyro; G. M., Bedford-row;

J. T., Bristol; J. T. L., Lincolnshire; À Lady Subscriber; E. C., Kenremark he let fall touching “Wrinkles" and the old “she-CARRY” sington; C. A. B., Temple; Claude, Dublin ; Delta; Nemesis ; Mercredi, alluding merely a new sporting work.

Liverpool; R. D. B., Clapham; Mary Hann.

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