MISS CARNIVAL.

RETTY young mummers, sincerely we pity

DIM SASSENACH.

Rome! or Vienna! no matter what city you

Live in, you give in to revel and rhyme. Once in a year in the loitering latitudes, Ringing with music and smelling of spring, Silken attire and fantastical attitudes

Tell us that Carnival time is in swing!

Once in a year, ere the season canonical

Warns us that wickedness lurks in our meat,

Carnival comes to our palates a tonic all

Merry with music and ripple of feet!

Once in a year for the briefest of holidays,
Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,
Naughty Miss Carnival whispers of jolly days,
Sings to us, brings us where nobody knows.
Then is the time with our spirits and hearts in it,
Masks on our faces and domino-clad,

Off we all rush to play pranks and our parts in it-
March has a hare which is said to be mad!
Whack go the bladders, and fizz goes the revelry,
Clang go the trumpets, and crack fires the chaff,
Din and delights and endearments and devilry,

Who would have pleasures worth doing by half!

Wait though a moment-my roystering revellers,
Continent's capitals laugh and are bold,
Fashion and season are marvellous levellers,
Pretty Miss Carnival faints-so we're told!
I know a fellow, my friends hypercritical-
Never as yet was he known to be done-
Would you have proof of vitality witty? call
Every Wednesday on Carnival FUN!

What a Fall was There!

WE fear that the police force resort at times to extreme measures in the execution of their duty. An "active and intelligent officer" is reported to have dropped on his man unexpectedly in a public thoroughfare. Supposing that the gentleman in blue was only a twelve-stone man, it must have been no joke for his unlucky prisoner,-must have fallen on him, in fact, very flat indeed.

Just as the Twig is Bent, the Tree's Inclined A FOND parent, anxious that his infant son should be sharp in his wits, and profound in his thoughts, has sent him to sea,-so that he may be "rocked in the cradle of the deep."

Very Unlike a Bird.

A BACHELOR acquaintance of ours remarks that ladies dress now with such exquisite taste that the pop-linnettes remind him forcibly of pop-injays.

Our readers may never have heard of Llangyfelach, and may still be ignorant that in that Arcadian spot it has long been customary to hold an annual fair, noted, we are informed, for figs and flannels. Let them hear, then, that Llangyfelach has been true to itself and to the Cymry, as the following announcement, addressed "To Publicans and Others" (mark the sarcasm of the "Others'), will abundantly prove:

LLANGYFELACH FAIR.

NOTICE TO PUBLICANS AND OTHERS.

At a Vestry Meeting held at Llangyfelach on the 22nd April, 1867 (Easter Monday), it was resolved by all parties that the Fair should not be interfered with on account of its being held on St. David's Day. It was put to the Meeting by the Vicar, who was the Chairman, there being not a single dissent, so it was carried with acclamation. THIS FAIR will take place as advertised on the 2nd and 3rd March, the 1st of the month falling on Sunday, which has been the custom from time immemorial, and not on Wednesday and Thursday as stated in an anonymous placard posted throughout the district, as it is neither customary nor established, consequently all parties selling Beer, Spirits, &c., on Wednesday or Thursday, render themselves liable to heavy penalties under an Act of Parliament, unless they procure the necessary licences from the Justices of the Peace, and the Revenue Authorities.

Happy Llangyfelach! where a Fair can be put to a meeting by an unassisted Vicar and carried by acclamation for some inscrutable reason not unconnected with the absence of dissent. Still more happy episcopal district where from time immemorial Sunday occurs only on the first day of the month. Can anyone be surprised that there should be no dissent in such a place? The existence of a secret heresy may be inferred from the appearance of anonymous placards which, though they are neither customary nor established, are posted through the district with the base intention of representing that the first of the month falls on Wednesday and Thursday instead of on Sunday, but the object of this conspiracy is evident to all those who have been accustomed to obtain their beer, spirits, &c., on the Sabbath. It will fail, for Acts of Parliament are still in force, even in Llangyfelach.

ITERATURE has never done justice to the important position which Clothes hold in the government of the world. Literary men have been noted, as a class, for their disregard of "personal appearance"; the very term they use proving that they do not understand clothes. It is, indeed, the fond belief of mankind at large, that clothes are made for man, whereas man is made for clothes. He is put into them and carries them about; but they require him only as a train awaits its engine -the puffing, snorting, self-important machine which is to bear it on its eventful mission. Clothes are, in short, everything! The Civic Robes are the Lord Mayor-he is a mere City man without them, but they are the dignity without him. Court Suits, Military Uniforms, Clerical Vestmentsthese are the Statesman, the Soldier, the Priest; and that unclad bifurcated piece of humanity called Man is not one or the other, except by chance, or the education which, after all, only teaches him how to wear the fitting habiliments with the least discredit-to them. This great subject has never been properly treated. A writer presumptuous enough to call himself "Sartor Resartus" attempted it, but his work was superficial and shallow, as might have been expected of such a frivolous concocter of comic copy as THOMAS CARLYLE. In this series of essays it will be regarded with proper respect and from the right point of view. To prove that it will be discussed with full understanding of its character, importance, and extent, the first subject selected for discourse is THE EYEGLASS. By those who have not given their whole souls to the grave contemplation of the theme, an eyeglass might not appear to come under the definition of "Clothes." To the philosopher the immense weight it has in influencing the career and the disposition of its wearer will satisfactorily prove its title to be so classified;-and even to be reckoned first in the classification. The world-as science has again and again told us-was developed by degrees into a state of fitness for the reception of its destined lords. It was successively inhabited by monads, fishes, reptiles, megatheria, and man. After man came clothes-the final object to which the less important creatures led up. The first development of clothes was the fig-leaf apron of ADAM -the first development of that particular portion of clothes which is defined as the eyeglass came later in the shape of spectacles. first rude outlinings of great designs need not be here discussed. This lecture commences with "The Eyeglass, double and single."

Those

The Double Eyeglass is of comparatively modern introduction in the world of Fashion-that is to say, the world which governs the actions of mankind, and, especially, of that portion of it known as womankind. The Double Eyeglass is a tower of strength to its wearer; for since the especial use and advantage of an eyeglass is its employment for the crushing and annihilating of one's fellow creatures, the double eyeglass has a double advantage in the more solemn and deliberate manner in which it must be affixed in order that the fellowcreature may be looked down. It is an imposing adornment too! Let the reader place the tip of his little finger over the glasses of the gentleman in the margin. The gentleman in the margin is reduced to a very commonplace person; but when the finger is removed, and the glasses dawn, he is at once fitted for a seat on the Treasury Bench, not to say the Bench of Judges. The Double Eyeglass is duly honoured by mankind. It is permitted to grasp the promontory which is forbidden under terrible pains and penalties to the digit and index of the world at large. In that proud position it leads its wearer along, and conducts him-if he will but allow it to do so-to honour, fame, and riches. The only people who speak against double glasses yet do not set their faces against them-are those who are circumstanced like this poor fellow. He despises them! He draws down the corners of his mouth in a sneer at them-partly because he cannot turn up his nose at them. If he were shortsighted, it is difficult to see how he could be provided with aids to vision; it might puzzle a STEVENSON or a BRUNEL, though they bridged great Straits at the Menai and the Hamoaze. Fortunately, provident nature always arranges these matters, and gives to

those who cannot see beyond their noses, noses that will carry spectacles.

The Single Eyeglass leads its wearer along, though not always so evidently as the Double. Nevertheless, it will be observed that in most instances the eyeglass is the prominent object in the man. How often the reader must have met with some one of whose dress and general appearance he has a distinct recollection, but of whose face the only thing he remembers is the eyeglass! The only image he presents to the mental vision is that given in the initial to this article. But the eyeglass is also the most prominent object in some people, actually and not figuratively. The being in the margin is an example. His eyeglass has given him a chronic "right-eye forward," to paraphrase a military term. His left eye is of little use, owing to the fact that his nose is at an angle of forty-five degrees from what should

D

C

E

B

be the plane of his front face. To describe his state with mathematical precision:-Draw the straight line A B perpendicular to the floor C B, and produce the above gentleman D C until he meets with A B, and the first point of contact will be his eyeglass.-Q. E. D.

The Single Eyeglass exercises a greater influence than the Double Eyeglass over the facial expression of its wearers. The latter concentrates its powers on the bridge of the nose, and their exhibition is confined, as a rule, to a purplish depression and a pinkness about the region of their impact. But the single glass calls into play all the muscles of the face; it makes one eye larger than the other, twists the corner of the mouth, moulds the eyebrows, and, therefore, may either soften or harden the features. But this makes it the more valuable, since it softens or hardens them only as the nature of the wearer inclines to softness or hardness. It is a well-known fact in science that the greatest strength of anything is only the strength of its weakest part. If a boiler be constructed to resist a pressure of a million pounds per square inch and one plate has a flaw that will not resist more than two pounds per square inch, the greatest strength of that boiler is against a pressure of two pounds and not of a million. In like manner the power of a face to resist the pressure exercised on its muscles by an eyeglass is the power of the weakest muscle. Therefore the eyeglass at once finds out the man's weakest point. Let us take two cases. Here are two men who wear eyeglasses. The effect of the glass on him on the reader's right is to give him a perpetual scowl. In him on the reader's left it is the cause of a perennial smile. The characters of the two men are put to one and the same test, the eyeglass. How differently do they come out of the ordeal! The one is

a man whose disposition it is to face life with a depression of the levator eyebrowii, the other meets it with an elevation of the extensor smilii, or-to quit anatomical terms-the one looks at things sternly, the other cheerfully. On a man of weak and melancholic temperament the eyeglass stamps an expression of chronic misery and discomfort. The gentleman whose presentment adorns the margin at this point, is an illustration of the pickling properties of the eyeglass. the eyeglass. For him, "the wine of life" is vinegarthe milk of human kindness, curds and whey-his gall-bladder and lungs haveway exchanged functions-and his heart has delegated its duties to his spleen. Of ourse, such a face is not without its uses. Thanks to the effects produced on it by the eyeglass, it might lend countenance to its owner's pretentions to be a Sabbatarian, a man who has had losses, or a Saturday Reviewer.

The most melancholy state of man,

Just

viewed as the wearer of an eyeglass, is of the state of the man who cannot wear an eyeglass at all. as there are stomachs which refuse solid food, there are faces which cannot retain an eyeglass. The owner of such a flabby physiognomy is nothing better than a series of dissolving views. He begins, on fixing his glass, with a scowl that would make the last gentleman we discussed ready to burst with envy. But he cannot sustain the effort. The young philosopher who has held the head of his sister's wax doll over the fire on a shovel will know the process this face goes through. Its outlines grow less decided the frown fades into a look of wonder-a stare of vacuity-and, flop! the eyeglass drops. The man who cannot wear an eyeglass is incapable of the highest duties of man, considered as the thing which Clothes wear, in the prosecution of their mission of civilization. The contemplation of such a being is so painful that we are compelled to close our lecture abruptly.

RALLY, NOW?

THE Paris correspondent of the Times quotes a letter of PRINCE LOUIS NAPOLEON BONAPARTE, afterwards Emperor of the French, which letter was written just twenty years ago. The document was addressed to the Provisional Government of France, and the opening sentence is thus given :

GENTLEMEN, The People of Paris having destroyed by their heroism the last vestiges of foreign invasion, I hasten from exile to rally round the flag of the Republic which they lave just unfurled."

We do not happen to have ready access to the French journals of February, 1848, in which M. BONAPARTE's letter first saw the light; but we venture to guess that the language has suffered some loss of precision in its change to English. The illustrious exile might have proposed to walk round a flag, or to run, ride, drive, waltz, or skate round a flag; but that even his original mind should have conceived the bold idea of one person's rallying round a flag, or rallying round anything, is more than we shall consent upon any terms to understand.

AD AVENAM.

A SCHOOLBOY ESSAY.

My lips full oft to thine I've prest-
They did not press again!
A sickly anguish fills my breast,
And thou hast caused the pain!

With dizzy whirl my senses swim,
My brain is in a swoon:-
I've wooed thee till my sight is dim
This whole long afternoon.

No faintest blush upon thy cheek
Repays my fond devotion,
The recompense that I would seek
For-oh, this wild emotion!

White-white as death thou dost remain,
Than common clay far duller-

Oh, meerschaum-'ere'sh-how-much of pain!
And yet thou wilt not colour!

Answers to Correspondents.

[We can take no notice of communications with illegible signatures or monograms. Correspondents will do well to send their real names and addresses as guarantees. We cannot undertake to return unaccepted MSS. or Sketches, unless they are accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope; but we cannot enter into correspondence regarding them, nor do we hold ourselves responsible for loss.]

PHILO NICHOLAS.-"The Old Man" has been compelled to leave England for his health till the return of summer, when you may look for his re-appaarance in these columns. We trust it is not a breach of confidence to quote from his last letter the following effort of his "mews":

ON SPRING: A ODE.

Spring is the first of the seasons, but you don't know what it means,
You wot resides in England, in the midst of muggy scenes;
Good lors, you should come to the South; the South is the land for greens;
The South is the land for Artichokes, and also the land for Beans!

You see how Natural Beauty quickens Poetic Power?

I wrote the above production in less than a quarter of a hour!

A READER (Colchester).-The pepper and vinegar, with which natives of
Colchester are generally served, seems to have affected your temper.
J. A. M.-Satis.

SCRIBBLER (Forfar).-The jokes are too For-far-fetched.
TRADESMAN.-A misprint.

A SOLUTIONER.-Don't make your solution so weak, and add a few grains of sense to it.

HEBRAICUS.-You have mis-read. The argument was that Anakim being the plural, "A or B" could not be used, though "A and B" might. J. THOMAS (Dublin) is at liberty to write us impertinent letters if it amuses him, but he might as well pay the postage.

F. J. F. (Primrose-hill.)-Do you say "a Cherubim ?" Don't talk nonsence, there's a good fellow.

C. E. G. (Stoke).-We do not jest about matters of religious belief. Declined with thanks:-New Ross; J. A., Little Tower-street; J. P., Kennington-park; H. N., Kew; J. E. G., Temple; A. C., Montaguestreet; Y. Z., Edinburgh: D. O. T., Brixton; G. J., Navan; A Constant Reader; A Scotchman, Glasgow; D. B. C., Hulme; B. Govan; B. M., Reading; Bosh; R. R., Cambridge; G. W. J., Trafalgar-square; G. A. K., Aberdeen; R. P., Edinburgh; J. C. H., Holloway; T. R., Sunderland; W. S. P., Bristol; W. H. S.; J. J. C., Colchester; An Admirer, Liverpool; D. L., Camden Town; F. W., Mortlake; H. T., Dublin; E. H. P., Wharton-street; E. C. S., Elmore-street; W. D. D.; Grumbler; Artful Dodger; D. J. F.; Yankee; R. D. B., Clapham-road; J. S. W., Belfast; L.M., Bloomsbury; G. L. G., Liverpool; F. T. F.