Merrill Markoe's Guide to LoveWhen Merril Markoe looked back on her decidedly checkered romantic past, she decided, in the name of women everywhere, to set out on a quest for the holy grail of true love. The result is Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love, which goes boldly where no book has ever dared -- from a hands-on oral-sex class to a consultation with LaToya Jackson's psychic. Markoe discloses the Secrets of Seduction -- who knew that oven mitts can make intercourse more fun? -- and visits a love channeler who delivers advice from his alter-ego Shontee, who lives 250,000 years in the future. Having scaled a mountain of Hallmark poetry and breast enhancers, Markoe has proven herself a guerrilla in the struggle for love. Coming in comic aid to women in distress everywhere, Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love is a brazen and brilliantly funny take on love and sex in the self-help world of the nineties. |
From inside the book
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Contents
Foreword | 1 |
What Is Love A Very Broad Overview | 5 |
What Causes Love? | 15 |
The BeginningEarly Signs of Interest The Good the Bad and the Terrifying | 19 |
How to Become Irresistible to the Opposite Sex | 27 |
Why Cant a Woman Have Sex Like a Man? | 35 |
Man into Putty | 39 |
Secret Seduction | 47 |
Warped Perspective Love and Sex on the Astral Plane | 89 |
Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places | 97 |
Learning to Live a Lie | 107 |
Looking Forward to Disappointment | 115 |
Getting To I Do | 123 |
Animal Love | 131 |
The Pet Psychic Cometh | 141 |
Marriage What the Hell Is Going On Exactly? | 147 |
Speed Seduction The Cliff Notes | 57 |
Dating Phase Two? | 65 |
Finding Your Perfect Mate | 69 |
Tips on Dating a Crazy Person | 83 |
What the Movies Taught Me | 161 |
Divine Love | 167 |
A WrapUp | 173 |
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Common terms and phrases
Allen answer appear asks astral lover astral plane attractive and lovable began begin behavior Bonnie breasts Bunny Chapter Christine Clive Barker cookie couch couple course crazy person dildo dogs Donny door dressed Edward everything explains eye contact fact feel flirting friends girl give going hair Hallmark poets hand head hear idea incubus irresistible John Gray Kama-sutra Kathie Lee Gifford kind Lewis live look Love Channeler marriage Marriage Day married Merrill Markoe minutes movie never nice Nora Ephron Okay perhaps play pretty psychic relationship reminded Robert Shapiro romantic romantic love Ross Jeffries Sandra Bullock says seated seminar sexual Shontee someone sound speak Speed Seduction staring succubus sure talk tells thing thought tion Trenchcoat turns Vanilla Ice voice wearing Winky woman women